tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372876601826078687.post2793597164451477451..comments2024-03-05T05:53:36.239-07:00Comments on The Masculine Heart: Dr. Mark Goulston - Why Men Use Porn (and How to Get Yours to Stop)william harrymanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06981478282688361274noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372876601826078687.post-51438240879584042312010-10-23T19:57:35.510-07:002010-10-23T19:57:35.510-07:00Pornography is exploitation. The women - and men -...Pornography is exploitation. The women - and men - involved in that world are stunted emotionally and have deep intimacy issues and almost always drug problems and childhood trauma. <br /><br />My philosophy professor once said to me 'If another person's exploitation and misery is your entertainment, what does that say about you as a person?' <br /><br />That's what men need to think about when they pick up porn or patronize prostitutes (which is basically what porn actors/actresses are).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7372876601826078687.post-40503760559042791952010-01-16T21:22:27.941-07:002010-01-16T21:22:27.941-07:00A couple of points:
- bio-psychological issues: p...A couple of points:<br /><br />- bio-psychological issues: pornography addiction is actually masturbation addiction. You won't find many people using pornography without masturbating. Masturbation addiction is based on making use of sexual fantasies and the relief of orgasm to basically escape. In tackling the problem, you have to discriminate the healthy natural sex drive from the addictive sex drive (= the drive to escape). That's the big difference from substance addictions: there's no natural drive to drink alcohol - the body can exist without it. In this, masturbation-porn addiction is more akin to eating addiction where you also have to discriminate healthy eating from addictive eating. What this basically means is that stopping from one day to the next won't do. Most men who try that one turn back to their addictive behavior sooner or later. It's just repression of the addictive sexual drive, but as it is mixed in with the healthy sexual drive, the behavior will show up sooner or later. Masturbation-porn addiction is a very complex addiction, as it involves the very basic need for sex and intimacy. <br /><br />- cultural issues: In the name of liberalism, pornography is underestimated, because anything doing with sex can't be bad (a boomer problem). This plays greatly into psychotherapy, where pornography addiction isn't really seen as a problem yet. In the name of conservatism, pornography is demonized, as there's still lots of fear of sex. Pornography addiction is seen as an issue, but the solutions, for the most part, are based on repression.<br /><br />- solutions: there aren't many healthy solutions on the market yet, IMHO. "Couples coaches" like Dr. Mark are doing a great disservice to their profession, as they seem to be blind to the problem for the most part (the liberalism problem). Which hinders men in realizing their problem and makes their partners often feel pressured for "not being tolerant enough". The first answer to Dr. Mark recommends SAA, but the problem with those approaches, as far as I know, is that they don't discriminate healthy from unhealthy sex drives - it's basically an adaption of AA for sexual addiction. So you would be adviced to stop your addictive behavior, which leads to repression.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com