Robert Augustus Masters - Eros Undressed: Into the Heart of Sex

Over at Integral Life, Robert Augsutus Masters has offered a new article in his monthly column - "Eros Undressed: Into the Heart of Sex." He presents, as usual, some very clear insights on the perspectives from which we see our sexuality:

And there is so much that we expect sex to do for us! More often than we might like to admit, we assign it to stress release, security enhancement, spousal pacification, egoic gratification, pleasure production, and other such tasks. We may use it as a super sleeping pill, a rapid-action pick-me-up, an agent of consolation, a haven or hideout, a control tactic, a proof that we’re not that old or cold. We may also employ it as a psychological garbage disposal, a handy somatic terminal for discharging the energies of various unwanted states, like loneliness or rage or desperation. Mostly, though, we just tend to want sex to make us feel better, and we use it accordingly, whether in mundane, dark, or spiritual contexts.

He argues that we will never have any freedom around sexuality and sexual intimacy until we can release it from our needs for it to make us feel better.

Here is the beginning of the article.

Eros Undressed: Into the Heart of Sex

Posted October 25th, 2011 by Robert Augustus... in Integral Post

Editor's Note: We are very happy to have Robert Augustus Masters as a regular monthly contributor to Integral Post. I find Robert's work with intimacy, sacred relationships, and monogamy as a vehicle for awakening to be utterly fascinating, inspiring, and timely, and consider it to be a crucial component to any ongoing Integral Life Practice. —Corey

Sex is, not surprisingly, a highly charged topic in contemporary culture.

How-to books and courses on sex abound, pointing out various ways to get turned on or more turned on in a relationship, with little or no attention given to actually exploring the very turned-off-ness that seemingly necessitates finding out how to get turned on. Judging from the sheer volume of such books and courses, plus an immense amount of personal testimony from all quarters (for example, the great number of American women who admit that they don’t enjoy sex with their husband), it appears that there’s an abundance of sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction within relationships.

There is plenty of focus on this, accompanied by all kinds of remedies, but not nearly so much focus on how dysfunction and dissatisfaction in the nonsexual areas of relationship might be affecting one’s sexuality.

We are usually quite reluctant to cast (or even to permit the casting of) a clear light on what actually may be happening during our sexual times with our partner—other than biologically—but without this, we are simply left in the dark, pinning too much on what we hope sex will do for us.

And there is so much that we expect sex to do for us! More often than we might like to admit, we assign it to stress release, security enhancement, spousal pacification, egoic gratification, pleasure production, and other such tasks. We may use it as a super sleeping pill, a rapid-action pick-me-up, an agent of consolation, a haven or hideout, a control tactic, a proof that we’re not that old or cold. We may also employ it as a psychological garbage disposal, a handy somatic terminal for discharging the energies of various unwanted states, like loneliness or rage or desperation. Mostly, though, we just tend to want sex to make us feel better, and we use it accordingly, whether in mundane, dark, or spiritual contexts.

Not only do we hear more and more about “sexual addiction,” our culture itself is so ubiquitously sexualized that it arguably could be described as sex-addicted. 

Read the whole article.