This is important information - if you know a guy like this, or you are a guy like this, please seek help. And please understand that me sharing this does not negate the fact that there are just as many women abusing their male partners - I am aware of that, AND it's a different psychological system in abusive women.
There's more info below the podcast - a couple of images we use with clients. I have also included some resources for getting help.
An interview with Lundy Bancroft, the former co-leader of Emerge, the first batterers treatment program in the United States. He is the Author of, Why Does He Do That: inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. Lundy debunks common myths about abusers, explaining that the man does not have an anger problem, or a problem with conflict resolution. He explains that violence happens in a larger context of control, in which the man attempts to control who she sees, what she does, what she wears, how she parents, etc. He explains that abuse is deliberate and based on the man’s thinking that he is superior, and entitled and justified in treating her this way. He describes the need for prevention by changing the culture which fosters the feeling of entitlement among boys. He decries the idea that "boys will be boys," which turns a blind eye to the attitudes that foster domestic violence. He describes some of the necessary steps in taking responsibility for abuse that a man needs to go through in order for treatment of batterers to be successful.This show aired on March 14th, 2012.
The Domestic Violence Wheel
The Cycle of Violence
National DV Resources
- Facebook Group Listing Batterer Intervention Programs in the United States
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: (303) 839-1852
- RAINN- The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network: 1-800-656-HOPE(4673)
- Family Violence Prevention Fund: (415) 252-8900