Friday, December 31, 2010

The Man Code?

For some reason, I find this amusing. Maybe because I was never let in on The Man Code - or maybe because this guy thinks he speaks for most or all men. No two men are alike, so no two men can share the same beliefs about what it means to be a man (although there are certainly cultural norms, often referred to hegemonic masculinity).

I wonder if it means anything that I have never heard of this guy?

‘The Man Code’ by Reality TV Star David Good Aims To Empower Women

More and more men are using their influence to empower women by releasing books that gives the inside scoop. Reality TV personality David Good of ABC’s ‘Bachelor Pad’ released his first book, The Man Code: A Woman’s Guide To Cracking The Tough Guy.

Although an unlikely messenger, his goal with The Man Code is to empower women, and to help them understand that they are their most attractive when they are strong, intelligent and motivated.

Good, 29, defines the Man Code as an unwritten code of conduct that guides the standards to which a man holds other men and himself. He believes the code represents the unspoken laws of masculinity, and it dictates the way men treat not just each other, but also the women in their lives. He writes, “Understanding the code empowers women to request and receive more from their men than was previously possible.”

In The Man Code, Good asserts that he’s uniquely capable of explaining the alpha male to the fairer sex – helping decipher the difference between a “Man Code” man and a bad boy. And it is in this book that he reveals what men like him value, and uncovers the stumbling blocks they most often experience on the road to love.

Since I do not know what The Man Code is, I decided to do a little research. Here is one version of the Code - appropriately, it's from

The Man Code

  1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.

  2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

  3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

  4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

  5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

  6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call B*LLSH$T. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%)

  7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

  8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

  9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

  10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

  11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

  12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

  13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

  14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see nothin'.

  15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

  16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

  17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

  18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

  19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

  20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

  21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

  22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

  23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!", "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!", "Another set and we can hit the showers." " Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

  24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

  25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

  26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

  27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

  28. Unlocking a car door for another man is polite. Opening it is gay.

Hmmm . . . is that what he meant>

Then there is some guy named Mattew Boggs who claims to be able to help you crack The Man Code - if you buy his seminars, books, coaching - looks like pick-up artist crap to me, except he is selling this to women to get men. There's a lot of this on the Web - teaching men how to be slick enough to get laid, and slimy enough to avoid a relationship - seems this guy wants to sell women on how to get men.

Oh wait, I think Boggs and Good are both selling the same shinola - the both are associated with The Bachelor Pad.

So, apparently, you can never screw your friend's/aide's/employee's wife (even if she works for you). OK, good to know.

I don't know . . . I think I'll stick with my code:

1. be kind
2. be loving
3. be mature
4. be honest
5. be present

All of which is subject to revision as needed to be a good guy.

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