Embodying Masculinity, Part Two - Power

In an ongoing effort to define and embody masculinity in healthy ways, I offer this post from The Simple Marriage Project on owning power for men, and knowing how to use it wisely.

This is a pretty good post -- he makes the very cogent point that when men try to emulate what they see in the media, they are engaging in pseudo-masculinity. The failure to understand what masculinity really is results in the abuse of power, among other things.

I'm not sure I buy into the submission bit, which the author claims is the true source of power -- maybe to a higher power, but not to culture. [The author seems to have a Christian viewpoint, so that might explain the surrender idea.] Rather than submission, maybe seeing ourselves as integrated in a larger web and working as part of that.

Man Up: Power

This is part 3, if you missed the money or the sex discussion, follow the links provided. Now on to power.

Males today live in a precarious position. If a male steps up to the plate and strives to become the man the media displays, he soon discovers it was not masculinity being displayed. It was pseudo-masculinity. The poser. The man that plays the part of the man, but isn’t truly being one at the core. On the other hand, most males don’t know what it means to be a true man. They lack a role model that can bestow masculinity to their life since their father is either checked out, lost in his own life or both.

A great deal of emphasis is placed on this idea of power in a man’s life. Jobs are sought that have this label attached. Career advancement is pursued at all cost in order to get more power. You get the idea. Life has become about getting more. Money. Toys. Things. Status. Women. Sex.

The truth is, power corrupts.

Power, like the love of money, is consuming. When you obtain a little taste, you do most anything to get more. It is easy to lose focus and be overwhelmed by the pursuit of power. Leaving behind a wake of hurt, pain and destruction.

On a global scale, the struggle for power has led to wars. While many great things can come along with power, how it is used and managed is key.

Three powerful examples

There are many great examples of powerful men throughout history. Feel free to add your own favorites in the comments section below.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is renowned for his influence in the civil rights movement. His adherence to non-violent protests and vision for equality among all humans inspired many people around him and throughout the generations up to today. He displayed his power through his belief in freedom and equality for men and women of all races and faiths.

Mahatma Gandhi is known as a major political and spiritual leader in India. He used a peaceful approach for social change. His influence and power led to the independence movement of an entire country. He displayed his power through his belief in the alleviation of poverty, in the liberation of women, in brotherhood amongst different religious and ethnic groups, and in the self-sufficiency of his nation.

Jesus of Nazareth is best known in the Christian realm as God’s Son who restored fallen man back to God through grace by His death, burial, and resurrection. He is also in my opinion the greatest example of a powerful man. He used love as a means for change. Teaching followers to turn the other cheek, love your enemies, and serve those around you.

Each of these men had tremendous power. They also have huge followings due largely to the way they used their power.

The key to ending power’s corruption

The key to disarming power’s corrupting influence rests in its usage. When power is used for relationships, it is shared and flourishes. True power comes through submission. Submission to those around you. To marriage. To family. To society. We each play a role in a larger story of our lives. We are interconnected to those around us. When we think of ourselves as the end-all-be-all, people get hurt and we often end up alone.

While I believe that most wives want to be in a marriage with a powerful man, they want this power to be used well and for the betterment of others. Namely the family.

Every group or system of people operates best when there is a leader. And often this falls upon the man’s shoulders. But this leadership should be for the improvement of the entire system, not just the leader. When a true man takes the lead and willingly submits his power to his family, the whole family is blessed. Through his power, the family and the marriage are blessed.

A powerful man is not passive, he is also not timid. He is a liberator of others. His power is spread to others by his willingness to live for others. To love others.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some; it’s in all, everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Nelson Mandela

Tags: Embodying Masculinity, Part Two, Power, culture, The Simple Marriage Project, responsibility, submission, religion