Just a reminder from BeliefNet that men get depression, too, and it looks different in men than it does in women. Worse, men tend not to talk about it and try to find ways to self-medicate.
And when it gets bad, men don't attempt suicide, they just do it (women attempt suicide at higher numbers, but men actually suicide at higher numbers) - the suicide rate for men is higher in every age group, and the difference increases as men get older.
Below this Beyond Blue article is a lot more information on male depression and suicide - including hotline numbers if you are feeling suicidal. PLEASE, make a call and talk to someone before you make it final.
Male Depression: Why It's Undiagnosed and What It Looks Like
Tuesday June 8, 2010
Last month, I dedicated a day to the topic of women's issues and depression: how our hormonal fluctuations contribute to depression and bipolar disorder. Some readers questioned whether or not the figures were accurate--that twice as many women than men suffer from depression--since so many men are undiagnosed. True. True. True. I have been amazed at how many Beyond Blue readers and members of Group Beyond Blue are male. In fact, some of the strongest voices are men's. (You know who you are.) The topic of male depression was worth researching. The following, from MayoClinic.com tells why depression goes undiagnosed in men and how the symptoms differ from women's:
Each year, depression affects about 6 million American men and 12 million American women. But these numbers may not tell the whole story. Because men may be reluctant to discuss male depression with a health care professional, many men with depression may go undiagnosed, and consequently untreated.
Some men learn to overvalue independence and self-control during childhood. They're taught that it's "unmanly" to express common feelings and emotions often associated with depression, such as sadness, uncertainty or a sense of hopelessness. They tend to see illness - especially mental illness - as a threat to their masculinity. So men may deny or hide their problems until a partner's insistence or a catastrophic event, such as job loss or arrest, forces them to seek treatment.
When they visit their health care professional, men are more likely to focus on physical complaints - headaches, digestive problems or chronic pain, for example - than on emotional issues. As a result, the connection between such symptoms and male depression may be overlooked. And even if they're diagnosed with depression, men may resist mental health treatment. They may worry about stigma damaging their careers or about losing the respect of family and friends.
Symptoms of male depressionIn both men and women, common signs and symptoms of depression include feeling down in the dumps, sleeping poorly, and feeling sad, guilty and worthless. Men with depression, however, have bouts of crying less often than do women with depression.
Other symptoms of male depression often include:* Anger and frustration
* Violent behavior
* Losing weight without trying
* Taking risks, such as reckless driving and extramarital sex
* Loss of concentration
* Isolation from family and friends
* Avoiding pleasurable activities
* Fatigue
* Loss of interest in work, hobbies and sex
* Alcohol or substance abuse
* Misuse of prescription medication
* Thoughts of suicideIn addition, men often aren't aware that physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain, can be symptoms of male depression.
Here is a more expanded list of symptoms - remember, men tend to experience more physical (somatic) symptoms and fewer emotional symptoms (men are, in general, less in touch with vulnerable feelings such as sadness and despair).Suicide and men
Suicide accounts for l in 100 deaths but the majority of those are men. A worrying recent trend is the increasing rate of suicide among younger men (a trend not seen among young women). The majority of these men have not asked for help before their deaths. The suicide rate in men also increases in those aged between 65 and 75 years. In contrast, the suicide rate in women varies less with age.
The higher suicide rate among men is a worldwide phenomenon. A few exceptions to the general rule exist, for example, among elderly women in Hungary and in some Asian countries. The reasons why men are more likely to kill themselves than women are complex and ill-understood. However, several pointers help our understanding.
Risk factors for suicide
As well as being male, several other risk factors for suicide have been identified.
- Age: suicide in men peaks in the 20s and again in the 60s and 70s.
- Unemployment: the suicide rate has been shown to rise and fall with the unemployment rate in a number of countries - half of the record 33,000 people who committed suicide in Japan in 1999 were unemployed.
- Social isolation: those who kill themselves often live alone and have little contact with others; they may have been recently widowed or have never married.
- Chronic illness: any chronic illness increases the risk of suicide.
- Certain occupations: people with certain occupations are more likely to die by suicide, for example farmers (who usually work alone, may be unmarried and have access to the means of suicide, such as a shotgun or poisonous weedkiller).
Many of the above risk factors affect men more than women. It is important to remember that many people are subject to these factors, but only a tiny minority of them will end their own lives.
Other factors are also significant. The most important risk factor is the presence of a mental illness. The most important protective factor is the presence of good support from family or friends.
Mental illness
Research has shown that the vast majority of those who kill themselves are mentally ill at the time of their death. Two thirds are troubled by a depressive illness and 20 per cent by alcoholism.
Of people with severe depressive illnesses, 10-15 per cent will commit suicide. Paradoxically, as mentioned above, depressive illnesses are more common in women, but suicide is more common in men. Several possible explanations exist for this apparent discrepancy.
- The more severe the depression is, the more likely it is to lead to suicide. So one possibility is that more severe forms of depressive illness are equally common in men and women. In addition, once men are depressed, they are more likely to end their lives. They are also more likely to choose especially lethal methods when they attempt suicide, for example, hanging or shooting. Depressive illness among people under 25 years of age is probably much more common now than it was 50 years ago, which may account for one reason why the suicide rate is increasing in young men.
- Alcoholism leads to suicide in 10 per cent of affected people. Alcoholism is much more common in men (though it is increasing rapidly among women).
- Schizophrenia (a relatively uncommon condition affecting 1 in 100 of the population) leads to suicide in 10 per cent of affected people.
Why is the male suicide rate rising?
The reasons why the number of men taking their own lives has risen in recent years are far from clear. All of the proposed explanations share a common feature - the changing role of men in society.
- Adolescence has been prolonged, with adulthood and independence reached at a much later age than previously. Two generations ago, work began at the age of 14; one generation ago at 16 years for most; now many men only achieve financial independence in their 20s.
- Men have a more stressful time in achieving educational goals than in the past and are now less successful than women.
- Work is much less secure and periods of unemployment are the norm for many (psychologically the threat of unemployment is at least as harmful as unemployment itself).
- Alcohol use, and abuse, has increase markedly since the Second World War. Such use is often an attempt to cope with stress and to self-medicate symptoms.
- Illegal drug abuse has become much more common (a correlation between the youth suicide rate and the rate of convictions for drug offences has been demonstrated in some countries).
- Changes that are assumed to be symptoms of the 'breakdown of society' are associated with a rising suicide rate (examples include the rising divorce rate and falling church attendances).
Boys don't cry
In many societies, expressing emotions, for example sadness, fear, disappointment or regret, is seen as being less acceptable for boys than girls.
This cultural stereotype is very, very difficult to shake off, though the advent of 'new men' in the 1990s has made it more acceptable for men to open up to others.
If a man, particularly an older man, does cry openly, this is often a sign of severe depression and is taken very seriously indeed by health professionals.
Deliberate self-harm
Some of those who 'attempt' suicide do not actually intend to kill themselves. They mimic the act of suicide by taking an overdose or cutting themselves. They do so in an attempt to change an intolerable situation or gain attention from significant other people in their lives. This process is know as deliberate self-harm or parasuicide. Such people can get considerable relief of tension and anxiety from these acts. Deliberate self-harm is more common in women, though the proportion of men who self-harm is increasing.
Some 10-15 per cent of those who attempt suicide go on to complete suicide. In other words, 85-90 per cent do not.
How does suicide affect others?
It is not true that suicide hurts no one except the person who takes his or her life. Those who are left behind will typically go through a number of stages as they grieve - denial, anger, guilt, confusion, a protective wish to prove death was accidental, and, perhaps, depression and anxiety.
Barriers to effective treatment of depression in men
- Men are less likely to recognise that they are under stress or unhappy, let alone ill.
- Men are less likely to consult their doctor when distressed.
- If they do consult their doctor, they are more likely to complain of physical symptoms (for example, stomachache) or vague ill-health.
- Health professionals are often less likely to consider a diagnosis of mental illness in men.
- Some of the young men who kill themselves without ever seeking help seem to not have an identifiable mental illness. Rather, they are troubled by a philosophical dilemma, a dis-ease (sic) of the soul, for which suicide seems the solution.
What can society do?
Something about modern life is killing more and more young men by suicide, but at the same time is not affecting young women. We need to know more about why this is happening and if necessary society must consider changes in the way we live to reduce the toll of suicide.
- About 80 per cent of women who have committed suicide will have consulted their doctors and received treatment before their deaths.
- Only 50 per cent of men will have done so.
- For men aged less than 25 years of age, the proportion is only 20 per cent.
Education campaigns might help men, and young men in particular, to seek assistance rather than suffer in silence.
What can you do?
If you have any of the symptoms of depression outlined above, consult your doctor. If you have three or four symptoms, if you feel hopeless about the future, or if the thought of suicide has crossed your mind, you should contact your doctor urgently.
If you see the signs of depression in others, advise them to consult their doctor. If someone you know threatens suicide take the threat seriously.
Remember, depression is treatable, and suicide is avoidable.
Warning SignsSuicide Hotline Numbers
Suicide is rarely a spur of the moment decision. In the days and hours before people kill themselves, there are usually clues and warning signs.The strongest and most disturbing signs are verbal – ‘I can’t go on,’ ‘Nothing matters any more’ or even ‘I’m thinking of ending it all.’ Such remarks should always be taken seriously. Of course, in most cases these situations do not lead to suicide. But, generally, the more signs a person displays, the higher the risk of suicide.
Situations
- Suffering a major loss or life change
- Family history of suicide or violence
- Sexual or physical abuse
- Death of a close friend or family member
- Divorce or separation, ending a relationship
- Failing academic performance, impending exams, exam results
- Job loss, problems at work
- Impending legal action
- Recent imprisonment or upcoming release
Behaviors
- Showing a marked change in behavior, attitudes or appearance
- Crying
- Fighting
- Behaving recklessly
- Breaking the law
- Impulsiveness
- Abusing drugs or alcohol
- Self-mutilation
- Writing about death and suicide
- Previous suicidal behavior
- Extremes of behavior
- Changes in behavior
- Getting affairs in order and giving away valued possessions
Physical Changes
- Lack of energy
- Disturbed sleep patterns – sleeping too much or too little
- Loss of appetite
- Becoming depressed or withdrawn
- Sudden weight gain or loss
- Increase in minor illnesses
- Change of sexual interest
- Sudden change in appearance
- Lack of interest in appearance
Thoughts and Emotions
- Thoughts of suicide
- Loneliness – lack of support from family and friends
- Rejection, feeling marginalized
- Deep sadness or guilt
- Unable to see beyond a narrow focus
- Daydreaming
- Anxiety and stress
- Helplessness
- Loss of self-worth
"If you are thinking about suicide... Read this first": from Metanoia.org
- Hope Line Network
Phone: (800) SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) - Covenant House
Phone: (800) 999-9999 - National Suicide Prevention Hotline
Phone: (800) 273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) - National and International Suicide Helpline Numbers
Resources and numbers by states and countries - International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression (iFred)
Phone: (800) 422-HOPE (1-800-422-4673) - Boys Town Hotline
Phone: (800) 448-3000 - The Samaritans
Phone (In the UK): 08457 90 90 90
Phone (In Ireland): 1850 60 90 90
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