Friday, November 22, 2013

Man Was Himself For 27 Minutes Today

As reported by The Onion (America's Finest News Source), there is now proof that men can be their authentic, true selves for at least small portions of each day. Who would have ever thought that possible?

Man Was Himself For 27 Minutes Today

The ONION | ISSUE 49•47 Nov 21, 2013 

ST. LOUIS—Temporarily ceasing all his regular affectations and posturing, local man Jeremy Claremont was his actual, genuine self for nearly half an hour today, sources have confirmed. “I was definitely myself for about six minutes there while eating breakfast, and then again during the first three minutes and 45 seconds of my commute, right up until the point I hit traffic,” said Claremont, speaking to reporters during one of the 27 nonconsecutive minutes in which he exhibited his true personality. “I also let my guard down at 1:14 p.m., when I was eating lunch with coworkers, but that stretch ended by 1:22, around the time the topic of conversation switched to business. Likewise, I didn’t betray my authentic self during the cumulative six minutes I spent urinating today.” According to reports, the 36-year-old was unable to be himself during the eight hours he slept, as he spent nearly all that time dreaming he was someone else.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Very funny! It smacks of truth. We're all so busy creating and maintaining the multitude of layered masks we wear it's amazing that we can even identify our authentic selves.