Episode 61: Sandor Gardos - Get Your Sex Life Off of Life Support
Sandor Gardos -- Get Your Sex Life Off of Life Support
What’s the deal with this myth that marriage is the death to your sex life? Does it have to be this way? Do you have to spend the rest of your days sneaking around with porn or affairs to get your sexual needs met?
In this episode, Dr. Sandor Gardos returns to The New Man to lay out some very simple things you can do to get the sexual juices flowing in your committed relationship.
In this show:
- Oprah’s Vah-J-J
- Vibrator called “The Sure Thing”
- The Aphrodite
- Oprah makes it ok to use sex toys
- It’s now mainstream to take an active role in making sex lives better
- Myth: Sex life is over after marriage
- Chris Rock
- Married life = death of sex
- Repressing sexual desire
- Turning to porn
- Having affairs
- What can this guy do?
- Not a myth that sex changes in marriage
- Being passive won’t make it better
- Probably not as bad as you think it is
- Desire discrepancy
- Most common thing sex therapists deal with in couples
- Polarizing sex
- Couples are closer to sexual desires than perception
- Taking it personally that she doesn’t want to have sex
- Perceived rejection
- Coping mechanisms
- Shutting off desire -- clamping it off
- Not being alive as a man when cutting off sexual desire
- Trying to “keep the peace” doesn’t serve the relationship
- Resentment is almost irreversible
- Avoiding anger actually builds resentment
- What a guy can do to turn this around
- Simple techniques
- Change the dynamic
- It’s not always that the guy wants all the sex
- For half of couples, the woman wants more sex
- Non-goal oriented sensuality
- Keep her guessing
- Sex is no longer about ejaculation
- Neediness is not attractive
- Build arousal and passion
- Getting out of the sexual routine
- Routine is the enemy of passion
- Novelty is an aphrodisiac
- Small changes can have a big impact
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