Showing posts with label hazing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hazing. Show all posts

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Seven Sayreville, N.J., High School Football Players Charged in Sexual Assault of Teammates

 

If the numbers mentioned in the report from Christian Science Monitor are accurate, 1 in 4 boys experiences sexual violence from peers during the high school years. This is identical to the number of females experiencing sexual violence in high school or college. Clearly, rape is not about sex - it's about power, control, and humiliation.

This crap needs to stop.

Hazing cancels Sayreville, N.J., football season: Does culture contribute to abuse?

As more details of the nature of the alleged sexual abuse in the New Jersey football program become known, a debate widens about the damage that can come from behavior often dismissed as 'initiation.'


By Stacy Teicher Khadaroo, Staff writer | October 10, 2014


In a football town, Sayreville residents shaken by hazing scandal; WPIX - New York

Amid a criminal investigation into possible hazing and sexual violence among high school football players, the town of Sayreville, N.J., is facing a season with no more football.

The decision by Sayreville Superintendent of Schools Richard Labbe to cancel the season Monday night brought an uproar from some parents, worried that innocent students who may depend on football for college scholarships would be unfairly punished.

[Update: On Friday night, seven students were charged with sex crimes in connection with a series of assaults. Six of the seven students, ranging in age from 15 to 17, were arrested Friday night, and the seventh was being sought, police and prosecutors said.]

But as details of the allegations at War Memorial High School spread in the news media this week, the town has become the stage for a broader public conversation about the detrimental nature of behaviors that experts say are too often dismissed as “tradition” or “initiation.”

About 47 percent of high school students experience some form of hazing, but only 8 percent apply that label to it, a landmark national study found in 2008. Among high school boys, 26 percent experience sexual violence from their male peers, the Journal of Youth and Adolescence reported in 2009.

A parent of one of the players in Sayreville told NJ Advance Media Wednesday that this fall, freshmen players were repeatedly attacked in the locker room by upperclassmen, who would physically restrain their target and assault him anally.

The school district has directed questions to the Middlesex County Prosecutor’s office, and a spokesman there told the Monitor he cannot comment beyond confirming there is an “active investigation.”

The initial negative reaction by many in the town when the season was cancelled may stem from confusion over the language in New Jersey’s statutes such as intimidation, harassment, and bullying, says Parry Aftab, an attorney and anti-bullying expert based in Fort Lee, N.J. Some people may not have realized how serious the allegations were.

But some who hear the allegations in such cases are still inclined to excuse the behavior and, instead, blame the victims for coming forward, says Kiersten Stewart, director of public policy and advocacy in the Washington office of Futures Without Violence. “This in no way can be tolerated. This is not hazing, this is child sexual abuse and we need to call it what it is,” she says.

The case highlights that education about respect, decency, and standing up against violence needs to start at a young age, Ms. Stewart and others say. But there also needs to be tough scrutiny of what any adults may have known about the case – whether current or former coaches, parents, or former players.

Superintendent Labbe told football players’ parents that school officials were not aware of any bullying or hazing before players came forward late last week, NJ Advance Media reports.

It’s important that students have access to anonymous reporting methods for more of them to come forward about bullying, hazing, and sexual assault, Ms. Aftab says.

The society “can’t just look at it as some anomalous thing that happens in some aberrant group,” but instead “we have to look at aspects of our culture that can create a climate where something like this is able to occur,” says Elizabeth Allan, president of Stop Hazing and a professor at the University of Maine in Orono.

One such factor is “the social construction of masculinity,” Professor Allan says, in which there are “lots of rewards for being seen as strong, tough, heterosexual…. One way to reinforce power and status and hierarchy in a group is to engage [male peers] in behaviors that would call into question their masculinity.”

In this case, if the allegations are true, she says, it will be more obvious to people that the behavior was physically forced, but in many instances of hazing, people think victims are going along with it because they don’t understand the coercion at play. “The kids know that if they don’t [go along with hazing] they are likely going to be seen in a different light.”

Education about how to speak up or intervene as a bystander in such situations is spreading into more high schools and middle schools around the country.

Sayreville community members are organizing a Sunday evening vigil to show support for the victims of the alleged hazing and raise awareness.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Even a 300 lb NFL Offensive Lineman Can Be a Victim of Bullying | On Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin

Miami Dolphins v Houston Texans

Anyone who follows sports has probably heard about the situation in Miami, where second-year player Jonathan Martin abruptly left the team last week after smashing his lunch tray to the floor in response to a prank played on him by his teammates, an effort led by fellow offensive lineman Richie Incognito.

The prank was cruel. Martin was asked to join a table of linemen during lunch, but when he sat down they all got up and walked away.


This is not a situation that happened just by chance.

Incognito has a history of getting himself in trouble going all the way back to his first two years at Nebraska, where he is a freshman All-American in 2002. By the end of the 2003 season, he had been suspended twice, and then suspended indefinitely when new coach Bill Callahan prior to the 2004 season. Incognito then transferred to Oregon, where then-coach Mike Bellotti gave him a 2nd chance, but only if he fulfilled specific conditions. He didn't and he never played a down for Oregon.

Despite missing the entire 2004 season, the Saint Louis Rams selected him in the 3rd round of the 2005 draft. He spent three years with the Rams, all of which fairly uneventful off of the field, but on the field he led the league with 7 personal fouls included in his 38 penalties.

He was already on his way out by 2009.
Things came to a head quite literally late in the 2009 season during a 47-7 loss to the Tennessee Titans. Incognito was twice flagged for head-butting Titans players, and he also got into a verbal spat with then-Rams head coach Steve Spagnuolo. Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk reported that Incognito was subsequently released.

Incognito caught on with the Buffalo Bills for the remainder of the season, but Buffalo decided against re-signing him even though he played well in three games with the team. It was unclear if Incognito would get another chance after the Bills let him walk, but he was lucky enough to be offered a contract by the Dolphins.
While with Miami, he began taking Paxil after refusing to try medication for year. He was named to 6-man leadership team for the Dolphins this year. On the surface, things seemed to have turned around for him - he was maximizing his potential on the field on not getting in trouble off of the field. Or maybe not . . . .

Guys who have played against him think he is a dirty player - pinching and grabbing in the pile. One Dolphin player says, "Richie is the type of guy where if he's on your team you love him," a teammate said. "If he's not on your team, you hate him. Every team needs a guy like that." His previous teammates have witnessed his issues and do not hate him, but they worry about him:
New York Giants kicker Josh Brown was Incognito's teammate at Nebraska as well as with the Rams, and he told Ebenezer Samuel of the New York Daily News that it was par for the course:
None of it shocks me. I don't know any details obviously. The league hasn't released anything. But Richie seems to be a person with a tortured soul. He's had these issues for quite awhile and it's sad.
Brown still considers Incognito a friend, but he believes that his former teammate is still dealing with "demons" despite the prevailing thought that he had turned a corner:
It's sad to see, because he was a friend of mine and still is. I played with him in college and he had a lot of problems in college. I played with him in the Rams, and not severe issues there ... but it seems like this seems to be something that has been haunting him for more than decade. This seems to be somebody who's really got some demons that are out of the building.
A good deal of Incognito's behavior can be traced back to his father, it seems. In Jeff Darlington's NFL.com profile of Incognito, there is this:
"I'd always tell Richie, 'You don't take no s--- from anyone,'" his father said. "'If you let anyone give you s--- now, you're going to take s--- your entire life.'"

Those words may seem like nothing more than a father trying to help his son through a difficult time, but some of his advice proved all too prophetic.

"I'd try to cheer him up," said Richie Sr., who is now a custom pool builder in Arizona. "I'd tell him, 'Payback is going to come, Richie. When it's time for you to have your payback, you open up the gates of hell and make them stare at the devil.' And when that day came, man, he made them stare at the devil."
So, we are not at the present - and Incognito has been suspended indefinitely by the Dolphins and will reportedly be cut following the conclusion of the NFL investigation.

According to reports, Incognito used racial epithets and made threats of bodily harm against Martin, who was in his 2nd year before leaving the team nearly 10 days ago (Oct 28). According to Adam Schefter of ESPN, these are some quotes from the threatening email that serves as the primary piece of evidence in this case.
Adam Schefter         @AdamSchefter
1: Richie Incognito left this VM for Jonathan Martin in April 2013: "Hey, wassup, you half n----- piece of (expletive)...

Adam Schefter         @AdamSchefter
2. More Incognito to Martin: "I saw you on Twitter, you been training ten weeks. (I want to) (expletive) in your (expl) mouth....

Adam Schefter         @AdamSchefter
3. Incognito VM to Martin: "(I'm going to) slap your (expletive) mouth. (I'm going to) slap your real mother across the face (laughter).

Adam Schefter         @AdamSchefter
4. Incognito to Martin, all on same VM in April 2013: "(Expletive) you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you."
Okay, this is where shit gets ugly. This is one incident, but there apparently have been others. Martin chose, for now at least, to walk away from his NFL career and get counseling while spending time with his family. On the upside, he went to Stanford, so he can probably do anything in life he chooses.

But his fellow teammates, former NFL players, and current NFL players are siding with Incognito - not all of them, but enough that it calls into question the atmosphere in the NFL locker rooms.
Former Dolphins teammate Karlos Dansby, now a linebacker with the Cardinals, told the Arizona Republic that “Richie was a down-to-earth guy. I hate all this came out about him. It's really attacking his character. I hope Martin doesn't have any backlash from this from the rest of his teammates.”

And Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace told NFL.com: "I know both [Martin and Incognito] personally. I like both of them. I love Richie. I think he's a great guy. I don't think he was out of hand. I have a lot of respect for Richie. I wish he was here."

Wallace says he doesn't think that team pranks and hazing went too far.
Denver Broncos defensive tackle Terrance Knighton thinks Martin broke the silence code of the locker room by leaving it and making his grievances public.
"Everybody in the NFL knows that when you're a young guy and when you're with the O-line you've got it the hardest," Knighton says. "I mean, that's been going on for a while. ... I don't know where they crossed the line at; maybe (Incognito) said something personal.

"I feel like, as players, when it is player-to-player, it can be handled as players. It can be addressed. I don't think (Martin) should have gone outside the team and expressed how things are going in the locker room."
This is the same nonsense I hear when people begin talking about the sexual or physical abuse or neglect that happened in their families - there is a code of silence around these things. As long as people honor these idiotic codes, they will continue to exist.

The most egregious comments, perhaps, come from New York Giants safety Antrel Rolle, who voices the "traditionally masculine" - i.e., man up, sack up, grow a pair, and so on.
Giants safety Antrel Rolle said that while Incognito was "absolutely" in the wrong, Martin is just as much to blame for what happened. “First of all, know something like that would never, ever happen to myself, because I wouldn't allow it to happen," Rolle told WFAN Tuesday.
"You know, at this level, you're a man. You're not a little boy. You're not a freshman in college. You're a man. So I think everything has its limits. So there's no way that another man is gonna make me pay for something that I choose not to pay for.”

"You're a grown-ass man. You need to stand up for yourself. ...

"Hopefully he's able to bounce back and recover from all that has happened and understand it, and take awareness of, you know, that, you're a grown-a– man,” Rolle continued. “You need to stand up for yourself.”
Not only is that the mentality among the players, but it seems also to be the mentality among the coaching staff of the Miami Dolphins [it must be stated, however, that head coach Joe Philbin, according to team sources, directed veteran players to "cut out" the rookie hazing]:
According to at least two team sources who have spoken to Omar Kelly of the Sun Sentinel, Miami Dolphins coaches told offensive guard Richie Incognito to “toughen up” teammate Jonathan Martin after Martin missed a voluntary workout in the spring. The team sources told the Sun Sentinel that Incognito, who has been suspended indefinitely after he was accused of using threatening and racially incendiary language against Martin, took the orders too far.
Other reporters have confirmed these reports:
Andrew Abramson of the Palm Beach Post wrote on Wednesday that he’s heard the same thing from team sources, adding that the idea was to bring Martin “into the circle.”

“[Dolphins center Mike] Pouncey and Incognito, they talk to each other that way — redneck, [n-word], it doesn’t bother the two of them. It’s how they communicate,” a source told Abramson. “They bond with one another.” Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin, according to sources, told his veterans to “cut out” the rookie hazing, but he did not police what was going on between Incognito and Martin. Martin left the team last week after a lunchroom prank in which Martin was asked to join his linemates at the table, and his teammates then got up and left the table.
Fox Sports reporter, Mike Garafalo, tweeted this:

Forgot to tweet but said on yesterday a former Dolphins OL said coaches supported and encouraged hazing to toughen up Martin + others.
The bullying was not only verbal - there was traditional stealing of lunch money (if you are mufti-millionaire NFL player):
[Adam] Schefter and [Chris] Mortensen also cited unnamed sources that one of the significant allegations is an incident during the summer of 2013 when Incognito got Martin to contribute $15,000 to help finance a trip to Las Vegas by a group of Dolphins, even though Martin preferred not to, "fearing the consequences if he did not hand over the money."
So the message here is that if you man up and get in someone's face, the bullying will stop. But why is there bullying in the first place? Incognito knows first hand from his own childhood haw damaging that can be, but like many victims, he did not deal with the pain, he just passed it along as soon as he was able - just like his father told him to.

As is true with many things, this whole mess starts with the father. Martin is simply the latest victim to endure Incognito's working out of his own pain and trauma by harassing others - but that this was condone in ANY way by the Dolphins coaching staff makes them complicit, right alongside Richie Incognito, Sr.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

A warrior code gone wrong - Hazing is not initiation


This article from the Times Live (South Africa) does a good job of distinguishing between hazing and meaningful initiation.

Hazing is mean-spirited, cruel, and serves no purpose other than humiliation. Often, it is little more than ritualized abuse. Initiation, however, is not mean-spirited or focused on humiliation - it seeks to test the initiate to prove his merit. Initiation is a "rite of passage."

Initiation has essentially disappeared in any meaningful sense. (The Mankind Project has their own version, but many men have found it humiliating and degrading.) In the absence of any real structure, hazing has become widely practiced and accepted, especially in sports teams and fraternities.
A warrior code gone wrong


Judith Ancer | 28 August, 2011




Initiation practices are all too often brutal, bizarre and wholly irrelevant.


The 13-year-old boy was home for a holiday, having just finished his first term at a prestigious boys' boarding school. His parents had brought him to therapy because he was "just not himself" - he was withdrawn, moody and had lost weight. While the boy at first insisted everything was okay, it soon emerged that senior boys had made him crawl naked over concrete, had rubbed Deep Heat over his genitals and forced him to drink what he thought was urine.


The boy had been "initiated", playing his small part in an often agonising ritualised drama that has been going on for centuries.


Sambia people in New Guinea did it by thrusting wooden sticks up the nostrils of five-year-old boys. In prisons, some gang initiates still do it by stabbing prison warder s. In the Russian army, some non-commissioned officers do it by branding recruits. At universities, undergraduates occasionally die while doing it. Some school sports teams do it by stripping, shaving and beating each other.


The question is, why?


Why do these kinds of practices survive in the 21st century? When we test someone's right to join our fraternity by cursing, assaulting or humiliating them, we are doing it to the previous version of ourselves. We were once that high school kid, that freshman. Yet we stand in line to pass it on to the next generation.


Communities have always conducted rites of passage both religious, such as bar mitzvahs, circumcisions and christenings, and secular, like 21st birthday parties and matric dances, which take young people through a journey from childhood to adulthood. Today these acts of initiation range from character-building and profound, through the playful or silly, to the abusive and frankly illegal.


The original purpose of initiation often gets lost. The word "initiation" derives from Latin for "entrance" or "beginning", literally "a going in". Historically, these rituals helped prepare individuals psychologically, physically and symbolically for the world they had to live in. But out of context, and taken too far, they constitute ritualised group abuse and institutionalised bullying.


Once they take hold in a group, harsh initiation practices become part of that culture and can be difficult to uproot. More than one school head has discovered that their attempt to moderate initiation practices is actively resisted by pupils, who wish to pass on the same trial by fire they underwent.


Often initiations are defended as arduous tests of strength and character, teaching humility and toughening up or weeding out the weak, the argument goes. However, most of us school our children to prepare them for the 21st century workplace, not for the rigours of the battlefield or a survivalist lifestyle.


Even in the military, brutal initiations are controversial. Sean Renaud, a New Zealand academic who researched the Chechen wars, comments on the impact of initiation practices on the Russian army when they fought in Chechnya. Those units that had the harshest versions of initiation were the first to fall apart under enemy fire and desert. And how well did our Kamp Staaldraad warriors do in the 2003 Rugby World Cup?


As parents, we might feel anxious about our children's initiations. There are a couple of questions you might want to ask:
  • Is your child being initiated or hazed? Initiation is intended to be a meaningful, controlled and ritualised ceremony. Hazing is just abusing and humiliating someone who is new;
  • What is the purpose of the initiation? How will running through a line of stick-wielding verbal abusers prepare your child for a future job as a doctor, IT specialist or plumber?;
  • For boys, is initiation merely a way of forcing them into a stereotypical mould of masculinity? Being tough and controlling one's emotions is just one version of masculinity. A 21st century man has just as great a need to solve problems and contribute to nation building; and
  • Do we tolerate the practice because we believe in it, or are we denying the pain, vulnerability and humiliation of our own initiation experiences?

Parents must make up their own minds about initiations, but should do so from a position of knowledge. Your child is ultimately your responsibility, so insist that a school is transparent about initiation practices and that you will not tolerate mindless hazing.


Lastly, speak out about the need for initiation practices to move with the times. Isn't it time initiations focused more on collaboration and community building through problem solving, creativity and strategic thinking?


Ancer is a Johannesburg-based psychologist