Charles Ramsey Helps Rescue Abducted Women, Asks that Reward Money Be Given to Victims [UPDATED]

Charles Ramsey has become an American hero after he helped rescue three abducted women being held captive in Cleveland, OH. When offered reward money, he asked that it be given to the victims - this from a man who works at McDonald's, not exactly a life of wealth.

For his actions, his humility, and his generosity, he is a living example of a masculine heart.

[UPDATE: I guess it was inevitable that there was more to the story - Ramsey served time on multiple occasions for domestic violence, and before that for drug abuse, and other crimes. One can hope that this is a new version of the man, that he has learned his lessons and wants to live in greater integrity.]

Charles Ramsey: I'm no hero in freeing of captive women

By Josh Levs, Phil Gast and Steve Almasy, CNN
Wed May 8, 2013

 

(CNN) -- Within hours of becoming a national hero, a viral video star and the top topic on Twitter, Charles Ramsey talked about having trouble getting sleep. 

It wasn't because of all the excitement that followed his knocking down a Cleveland neighbor's door, freeing three women and a girl who police say were held hostage for years. 

Instead, Ramsey told CNN's Anderson Cooper on Tuesday, it was about knowing he had lived for a year near the captive women on the city's West Side. 

"Up until yesterday the only thing that kept me from losing sleep was the lack of money," the restaurant dishwasher said on "Anderson Cooper 360." 

Neighbor kicked in door to rescue women

Ramsey to 911: 'She's in a panic'

Women rescued after 10-year nightmare

Neighbor heard scream near Castro home 

"I could have done this last year, not this hero stuff," said Ramsey. "Just do the right thing." 

Ramsey recounted Monday night's drama, when he heard a girl scream "like a car had hit a kid." 

He ran from his living room, clutching a half-eaten McDonald's Big Mac, to the house and helped free a woman identified as Amanda Berry. 

"Amanda said, 'I've been trapped in here. He won't let me out. It's me and my baby." 

Who are the three women freed in Cleveland? 

Ramsey and a man named Angel Cordero broke down the door, CNN affiliate WEWS reported in an earlier interview heard around the world. 

Ramsey told CNN he had never seen Berry before Monday, and at first, he could not place the name. 

"Berry didn't register with me until I was on the phone, like wait a minute, I thought this girl was dead." 

"She's like, 'This (expletive) kidnapped me and my daughter,'" he told the 911 operator, according to WEWS. 

After police arrived, Berry explained there were other women inside. When police came out with them, Ramsey told the station, "it was astonishing." 

Berry was last seen after finishing her shift at a Burger King in Cleveland in 2003 on the eve of her 17th birthday. 

The other two women are Georgina "Gina" DeJesus, who disappeared at age 14 in 2004, and Michelle Knight, who vanished in August 2002, at age 21, according to police. 

Ramsey told CNN he is no hero and should not receive any reward. 

"You've got to put that being a coward and 'I don't want to get in nobody's business,'" he said. "You got to put that away for a minute." 

'I barbecue with this dude' 

While Ramsey's quick action in the largely rundown neighborhood made him a hero, his colorful descriptions to WEWS helped make him dream fodder for the Twitterverse. 

Explaining that he had no idea Ariel Castro, his neighbor, may have had other people inside his home, Ramsey said, "I've been here a year. You see where I'm coming from? I barbecue with this dude. We eat ribs and whatnot and listen to salsa music... 

"He just comes out to his backyard, plays with the dogs, tinkers with his cars and motorcycles, goes back in the house. So he's somebody you look, then look away. He's not doing anything but the average stuff. You see what I'm saying? There's nothing exciting about him. Well, until today." 

Castro "got some big testicles to pull this off, bro," Ramsey told WEWS. "Because we see this dude every day. I mean every day." 

He added, "I knew something was wrong when a little, pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway." 

In one of the top tweets about Ramsey, comedian Patton Oswalt wrote, "Dear Charles Ramsey: I am not a little pretty white girl, but I totally want to run into your black arms. #hero." 

Hodge's restaurant in Cleveland posted a message on Facebook saying, "we're extremely proud of our employee Charles Ramsey for not turning his back on the young women. He's a true Cleveland hero. Our thoughts and prayers will continue to be with the women, their families and their friends." 

Three separate cases, one rescue

Ohio cop dispels story of naked lady

The search for Ashley Summers

 Restaurant owner Chris Hodgson told CNN that Ramsey goes above and beyond in his duties. 

"You give him something to do, and he'll do more," he said. "We always look forward to seeing him, because you know he's gonna bring a smile to your face." 

Hodgson said people have offered to raise money for Ramsey, but the employee would end up giving it to the victims and their families. 

The company is working with other restaurants to plan fund-raisers for the families, Hodgson said. 

For its part, McDonald's Corp., on its Twitter account Tuesday, said, "Way to go Charles Ramsey -- we'll be in touch." 

Despite his assertions, Ramsey and Berry were praised as heroes by John Walsh, former host of TV's "America's Most Wanted." 

At an awards dinner for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Walsh said he called Ramsey on Tuesday to tell him that. 

"You are the guy who decided in 30 seconds to go up and spring a woman from a house of hell that she's been in and was desperate to get out that door with her 6-year-old daughter," Walsh recalled saying. 

Ramsey said he was raised to help women in distress, said Walsh. 

Ramsey interview goes viral, gets autotune treatment 

Breathless 911 call 

Ramsey's demeanor comes across clearly in his 911 call.

"Hey bro," Ramsey tells the 911 operator. "Check this out. I just came from McDonald's right? So I'm on my porch eating my little food, right? This broad is trying to break out the f-----g house next door to me, so there's a bunch of people on the street right now and s--t. So we're like, 'What's wrong, what's the problem?' She's like, 'This m--------r done kidnapped me and my daughter ... She said her name is Linda Berry or some s--t. I don't know who the f--k that is, I just moved over here, bro. You know what I mean?"

He then answers the 911 operator's questions about the woman, what she looks like, and what she's wearing. 

Ramsey tells the operator an address which he says corresponds to Berry's location, not Ramsey's home address. "I'm smarter than that, bro. I'm telling you where the crime was, not my house," he says. 

"Are the people that she said did this, are they still in the house?" the 911 operator asks. 

"I don't have a f-----g clue, bro. Like I said, I just came from McDonald's." 

The operator then asks him to check whether Berry needs an ambulance. 

"She needs everything. She's in a panic, bro. She's been kidnapped, so, you know, put yourself in her shoes." 

"We'll send the police out," the operator responds. 

~ CNN's Catherine E. Shoichet contributed to this report.

C.S. Sloan - Mass Made Easy (or at Least Simple)

Over at C.S. Sloan's Integral Strength blog [A Journey through Bodybuilding, Strength Training, Holistic Fitness, Martial Arts, and Contemplative Spirituality], he has posted an excellent and simple model for building strength and muscle.

If you do not already read his blog (or his frequent articles in the muscle mags), do yourself a favor and check him out - he's a smart guy when it comes to building muscle and strength, and he's a lot more than a training guru.

Mass Made Easy (or at Least Simple)

Posted by C.S. Sloan 

I have been lifting weights hard now for over 20 years—the “training bug” hit me big right out of high school, back in ’92. (I had been lifting even before that, during my last few years of high school, but that training was just to help my martial arts; I more or less just played around with weights during those years.) I devoured every single article that I could come across during my first few years of training. There was no such thing as the Internet at the time—yeah, I know, that’s hard for some of you young ‘uns to believe—so this meant reading every single bodybuilding and fitness magazine that hit the newsstands. And it also meant reading every damn article in each one of those rags. (Luckily I also had an uncle who had a lot of old Iron Man and Strength and Health magazines from the ‘70s and before—I devoured the hell out of those magazines too, and later much of that stuff would form many of my training theories and ideas.)

A couple of years later—once I was pretty sure I was an expert on building muscle (tongue planted firmly in cheek)—I wrote my first article for Iron Man magazine. I don’t know how many articles I’ve written since then, but it’s in the hundreds—I have several hundred articles right now on the hard drive of the computer I’m currently staring at, and that’s just for the past 8 or 9 years. But one of the first few articles that I wrote was a little something called “Mass Made Easy.” It was an attempt to put together all of the best methods, keys, and techniques (that were available at the time) for building the most muscle possible in the shortest amount of time. I can’t recall what exactly was in that article—I can only ever so faintly remember writing it—but I’m pretty sure that if I had to re-write the article, it wouldn’t look anything like it did back then. 

Which brings us around to what you are now staring at on your computer screen. What follows—briefly—are the best methods, keys, techniques, etc. for building (yep, you guessed it) the most muscle in the shortest possible time. Here goes:

Follow the “Big 5”

My "Big 5" program appeared in the July/August issue of PM

No matter what kind of set/rep scheme that you use, no matter whether you train with full-body workouts or with 6-way split routines, no matter whether you train your muscles frequently or infrequently, you should never deviate from the “Big 5.”[1] Here is the Big 5 in brief:

• Squat something heavy
• Press/put something heavy over your head
• Pick heavy stuff off the ground
• Carry/drag heavy stuff for distance
• Eat a lot of good calories

Train as Frequently as Possible While Being as Fresh as Possible 

If you have read a lot of my articles or posts, then, yes, I once again uttered that famous, oft-quoted (at least by me) phrase of strength coach/researcher Vladmir Zatsiorsky. Basically, it means that the more often that you can train, the better. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the more often you do train the better off you’ll be. (You still have to recover between workouts.)

It’s been my experience that the majority of guys (and gals) working out, make the cardinal sin of both overtraining and undertraining at the same time. (This is especially true if they read a lot of American bodybuilding magazines.) Many of them do way too much at each workout (overtraining), which means they then have to take way too many days off between workouts for muscle groups/lifts (undertraining).

Train just hard enough so that you can train the muscle/lift (or a lift similar to it) in another 48 to 72 hours. And then build up your work capacity slowly over the course of many months until you can train both hard/long and frequently. At that point, you will be very big and very strong.

Perform a Lot of Full Body Workouts

Freddy Ortiz and Larry Scott - 2 "old timers" who used full body workouts

You don’t have to always train with full body workouts—in fact, I have a feeling you would get bored as hell if you did it all the time—but at least half of your training career should be spent doing them. (That means 50% of your workouts for those of you who are incapable of doing the math. I say that because I’ve talked and/or corresponded with plenty of guys who claim they do a lot of full body workouts, but their training careers—if you could even call it that—proves otherwise.)

If you use a micro-periodization scheme (my preference), this means that you should be doing both full-body and split workouts in the course of a week or two of training. If you are more of a macro-periodization lifter, then this means you should do this within the course of a year of training.

Also, this doesn’t mean that you have to train your entire body in the same workout. One of my favorite tactics is the full body split workout. One workout might be squats, bench presses, and barbell curls. The next workout might be deadlifts, overhead presses, and chins. A third workout might be power cleans, one-arm dumbbell overhead presses, and farmer’s walks. Split workouts? Yep. Full body workouts? You bet.

Utilize a Lot of High Set/Low Rep Workout Schemes

I think—if you want to get great results in the shortest amount of time—the best thing you can do is combine heavy weight, high set, low rep schemes with full body split workouts. I’m talking about stuff such as 10 sets of 3 reps, 15 sets of 2 reps, 5 sets of 5 reps, 6 sets of 4 reps, 20 sets of singles. Workouts where—for the most part, with the exception of 5 sets of 5—the sets are always higher than the reps. These set/rep schemes allow you to train heavy, to recover fast, to generate a lot of force during the entire session, to take minimum rest between sets, and to get a good full body workout within a short period of time.

Utilize the Two-Barbell Rule

Even though this is something that I just recently “stumbled across”—if “stumbled” is even the right word since I’d inadvertently been doing it for a long time—I think it should be adhered to for the majority of your workouts. The two-barbell rule is easy and simple. Basically, every time that you lift, make sure that you do two barbell exercises before you do anything else. (See my post below for a little more info on the efficacy of this tactic.)

Summary

I guess I could come up with more “keys” and “tips” than this brief handful, but we’ll save that for another article. Besides, I have a high-set, low-rep, full-body workout that I need to perform—just the kind of full-body split workout I do all the time.


[1] For a more in-depth look at the “Big 5” see my previous article/post on this subject. Also, see my Planet Muscle article of the same name from a few issues past. You can probably read that on the brand spankin’ new Planet Muscle website—its pretty awesome looking. (And, yes, I am engaging in a little shameless self-promotion.)

Dzigar Kongtrul - Old Relationships, New Possibilities

Dzigar Kongtrul is a professor of Buddhist philosophy at Naropa University and the author of several books, including Light Comes Through: Buddhist Teachings on Awakening to Our Natural Intelligence (2008), from which this excerpt is taken, It's Up to You: The Practice of Self-Reflection on the Buddhist Path (2006), and Uncommon Happiness: The Path of the Compassionate Warrior (2009).

What he is describing here are essentially the patterns of codependent relationships. Codependence is not solely the domain of addicts and their enablers, any relationship where autonomy and boundaries are missing or disabled can become codependent.

Old Relationships, New Possibilities

Breaking free of unhealthy relationships allows us to replace dependency and neurosis with compassionate respect.

Dzigar Kongtru

WE ALL HAVE SOME rough relationships in our lives that seem held together by the stickiness of attachment and expectation. It is true that we have love and care for these people, but, at the same time, it’s not so clean; there’s plenty of complexity. Inside, we feel an emotional tug when we see or think of them. This is often exaggerated with the people we are close to and with whom we share a strong dynamic, such as our parents, children, close friends, or spouse—all relationships where a lot of expectations tend to arise. There are many unspoken demands. In the midst of our romance, marriage, or parenting, we find ourselves responsible for someone else’s loneliness and their emotional or physical pain.

There is a Tibetan term that describes this kind of dynamic: lenchak, commonly translated as “karmic debt.” Len literally means “time” or “occurrence,” while chak refers to “attachment,” “attraction,” or the notion of a karmic pull toward someone, usually in an unhealthy way. So lenchak could be understood as the residue that revisits us from the dynamic of a relationship from what some would call a past life, a dynamic now strengthened by habitual responses. Lenchak is most often used to explain or describe why a particular relationship is how it is.

In the Buddhist texts, we read that in certain hell realms beings experience the negative results of past unwholesome relationships. They hear their name being called out and experience a pull toward the voice of the person they once knew. They travel toward that voice but end up encountering horrendous creatures and experiencing intense physical and mental anguish. This is interesting because, with those with whom we have lenchak, we feel an immediate pull beyond our control or sense of resistance. Our name is called, and we jump at once to serve them. This is not a conscious decision—not a joyous decision—but more like being propelled by a strong wind. Our reaction— whether with anger, jealousy, attachment, or what have you—only serves to reinforce the dynamic. People have done many things “in the name of love.” But if this is love, it’s not a healthy kind of love.

In Tibet they say there is a lake where, during a particular full moon each year, the seal-like creatures who live there gather fish in their mouths and offer them up to hordes of owls who hover in the trees above, waiting to eat. There is no apparent reason for the seals to offer the fish other than the fact that the owls seem to expect it. As the story goes, the seals gain nothing from offering the fish, and the owls are never satisfied. So, they say, since there is no obvious reason for this dynamic to be as it is, “it must be lenchak.”

The lenchak dynamic has two sides: the seal side and the owl side. If we are the seal, we feel an unspoken emotional responsibility for someone else’s mind and well-being. We feel pulled toward this person as if they have a claim on us. It’s a strong visceral experience, and we have a physical reaction to it: the phone rings and we check our caller ID—it’s “the owl.” We should pick it up, but we are overcome by a strong wave of anxiety and repulsion, as if we are being attacked by our own nervous system. We brace ourselves for a problem or a strong emotional download. As much as we want to detach ourselves from this person, we can’t break loose; it’s as if they have captured us, and there’s no escape— checkmate! Of course, this is not the case. In truth we are held hostage by our own attachment, guilt, and inability to resist the pain that comes from feeling unreasonably responsible for them. On one hand, we can’t bear watching the owl struggle. On the other hand, we can’t let go. This dynamic brings us down; it makes us lose our luster as human beings.

Meanwhile, the owl is never satisfied, no matter how many fish the seal tries to feed it. Of course, when caught in the owl syndrome we don’t see it in this way. We feel neglected, isolated, and weak. The reason for this is that we are depending on someone else in hopes that they will manage our fears. We have so many unspoken demands, although we often express these demands in a meek and needy way. The owl syndrome reduces us to a childlike state. We begin to question whether or not we can do things on our own, and we lose confidence in our ability to face our mind and emotions. Interestingly, the owl—so frail, needy, and insecure—is not necessarily as feeble as it seems to be. In fact, the owl has the upper hand. It’s a little manipulative, if you want to know the truth. The owl just doesn’t want to clean up its own mess. This is a privileged attitude. If the owl couldn’t afford to be weak—if it didn’t have the seal—it would naturally rise to its own challenges.

The irony of this dynamic is that, in most cases, the more fish the seal offers the owl, the more resentful, demanding, and dissatisfied the owl gets. For both the seal and owl, this kind of dependence and expectation gives way to a lot of ugliness. At work we may have to hold our tongues and swallow what our boss has to say, but there is no holding back with our loved ones. We let our guard down and allow ourselves to get ugly, spreading our web of ego anxieties all over the place. It’s true, the seal may temporarily pacify the owl, but no mutual respect arises from this kind of arrangement. And in truth, isn’t it respect that we want most of all? Everyone wants love and care, but, more than these, human beings want respect for who they are. Even an enemy can respect another enemy. There is a sense of human dignity in this.

In this confusion of lenchak for love, we fear that without the lenchak dynamic our relationships will completely fall apart. What is there beyond all the obligations, all the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts,” and all the fantasies we try to live up to? The distinction between love and lenchak needs to be examined carefully. Love and care toward others warms the heart and makes us generous and giving. Feelings of love and care arise naturally; they are not the product of pressures and demands. Think about the attachment and pain of lenchak. Think of all the insecurities and resentment that come with it. Lenchak makes us feel like we are not up for our own life and its challenges or that we can’t handle seeing others in pain. And yet we don’t trust that they can handle their own lives, either!

WHEN IT'S TIME for a child to start walking, a mother needs to let her child walk. She needs to let the child lose his or her balance, fall down, and then find balance once again. Alone, the child needs to get up and stand on his or her own two feet. Although children need protection, we need to have confidence in their potential to flourish. We don’t want to hold them captive by our own fears and doubts—this creates the unhealthy dependence we have been talking about. Letting children immerse themselves in a challenging situation or obstacle for a while gives the child confidence. It gives the mother confidence, too. It’s one of the early steps a mother takes in letting the child become a citizen of the world.

When challenges or obstacles arise for us, we don’t have to get so intimidated; we can say, “Yes, it’s an obstacle, but it is not intrinsically bad; it’s not going to destroy me.” To create a relationship with the obstacle, learn about it, and finally overcome it is going to be a helpful thing to do. It gives us a chance to cultivate wisdom and skillful means. It gives us confidence. We cannot eliminate all of the challenges or obstacles in life— our own or anyone else’s. We can only learn to rise to the occasion and face them. Shantideva suggests that we need to cultivate a “Can do! Why not? No problem!” kind of attitude toward our neuroses and obstacles in order to overcome them. If we have no confidence, we’ll already be defeated, like a dead snake lying on the ground. Around a dead snake, even a sparrow can act like a garuda! (This ancient mythological Indian bird, said to be able to travel from one end of the universe to the other with a single movement of its wings, is also said to hatch from the egg fully developed, and is thus used as a symbol for the awakened state of mind.) In the same way, the smallest fear or neurosis will entirely overpower us.

The great deception of lenchak is that it doesn’t even occur to us that our suffering is our own. We automatically expect that others should share in it or take it on themselves. In this way, lenchak gets in the way of our owning up to the responsibility of our lives. There are times when we try to pull others in for sympathy. If asked, “How are you?” we will review our full history. It starts off, “I’m okay, but . . . .” We feel a need to share everything. At the end of the conversation, others know all our troubles and ailments. We just can’t seem to go through the process on our own with our own strength.

But do we really need to be transparent as glass? Do others really want this kind of honesty? People often can’t handle all the details and confusion in their own lives. It is safe to assume that they have emotional ups and downs and uncomfortable physical sensations like we do. Furthermore, unless they are our doctor, what can they actually do for us?

At the end of my mother’s life, when she was quite sick, an old friend came to see her. When he asked how she was feeling, she said, “I’m fine.” I later asked her why she said that, and she replied, “What else should I say?” When you ask accomplished teachers how they are, they always say, “Good, good, very good”—always good. Many people say that they feel dishonest saying they are good when in fact they have problems. But what we are talking about here is developing a fundamental sense of strength and wellbeing. Wouldn’t it be better to associate our mind with that rather than with all the fleeting emotions and physical sensations we experience throughout the day? What is the point of being honest about something so fleeting and impossible to pin down? If your well-being is so dependent upon your emotions and physical sensations, you will have little opportunity to say, “I am well.” So when people ask how you are, say, “Good!” You may need to pump yourself up a little bit in the beginning, but soon you will start to believe it yourself. You will begin to see that people feel more attracted to you. They won’t feel that subtle tug when they see you coming. And they will be less hesitant to ask how you are!

WHEN WE ARE BOUND by the emotional needs of others, or simply afraid of our own, how can we entertain the idea of engaging a spiritual path? And when our relationships with others are so unclean and confused, how can we expect to extend kindness to others and work for their benefit? Lenchak goes against the most fundamental principles of spiritual practice. We are always seeking something from the outside and forgetting that our fundamental well-being and strength depend on how we relate to our own minds. Falling under the sway of the lenchak dynamic is like losing possession of our very lives. It’s like letting others lead us around by the nose ring as if we were a buffalo or a cow. What could be more detrimental than losing our freedom in this way?

All the great practitioners know the consequences and pitfalls of lenchak, so they fiercely guard their independence. They are savvy when it comes to working with others because they know that whether it concerns their students, parents, family, or whoever, if they fell prey to the lenchak dynamic, it would eat up their time and their peace of mind. Moreover, because it is a dynamic based on neurosis, lenchak leaves no supportive ground on which to serve others. In the end, they would find themselves leading an entirely different life from the spiritual life of practice they envisioned for themselves.

Knowing this, many yogis have steered clear of societal demands and led simple lives, traveling alone without the complications that come with having many sponsors and attendants. The great Nyingma teacher Patrul Rinpoche [1808–1887] had a strong, uncompromising presence and was completely immune to any kind of deception or partiality. There are stories that when important dignitaries would come for an audience—some of them so proud it would have taken a bulldozer to get their heads down—they would shake like prayer flags in his presence. But don’t think for a moment that Patrul Rinpoche, even though he was free of entanglements, had even a trace of indifference! He was known as a loyal and kind friend, a compassionate friend, who dedicated his life solely to benefiting others. Because he was able to see the greater potential of the human mind’s ability to awaken, he spent his entire life expounding the teachings with great care and tenderness. Through his wisdom and compassion, he was able to preserve his independence and serve others, perfecting his own mind through the jewel of bodhicitta (“enlightened heart”). On the relative level, bodhicitta has two aspects: aspiration bodhicitta, which is the wish to attain enlightenment in order to bring all living beings to liberation; and engaged bodhicitta, which includes such practices as generosity and patience. On the absolute level, bodhicitta is insight into the nature of all phenomena.

Wisdom and compassion are the two components of bodhicitta. When we begin to discover the mind’s natural potential and strength, we are cultivating wisdom. This doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted and indifferent. It doesn’t mean we have to cut our family ties, quit our job, or live in a cave. It simply means we refuse to give in to lenchak because we see that it doesn’t serve us and that it makes it impossible for us to serve others. We recognize lenchak, and we can “just say no”! We can see it as a form of civil disobedience— a nonviolent approach in which we refuse to succumb to our own and others’ ignorance. When we can reclaim our nose ring, we are left with no real reason to resent others. With a mind free from lenchak, we have a lot of room to expand the heart through serving others. This is how wisdom can protect us, so that we can be soft and caring. This is the bodhisattva’s way.

In the sutras it says that a bodhisattva is like an immaculate lotus that floats on muddy water. The lotus is a metaphor for the bodhisattva, who engages the world of confusion in order to serve beings. But how is it that the bodhisattva stays afloat without sinking into the muddy water of confusion? It is due to the wisdom of knowing the mind—how it can serve us or how, if left unchecked, it can spin in the direction determined by confusion. This kind of clarity may seem a long way off for us, but it all begins with rising to the occasion of our lives and facing our minds. We need to think clearly about this. Since this is our life, we must find some determination to rise to it in a way that supports our aims. Once we taste the freedom that comes with independence, it gets easier. We realize how much we have lost by desperately holding on, and we know how much there is to gain through disengaging from confusion. We can do this while expanding our most precious qualities: our good heart and our compassion for others. Through our innate qualities of wisdom and compassion, we can burn the seeds of lenchak once and for all, ensuring benefit for both self and other. This knowledge has been of great personal value to me in my life as a teacher, householder, and friend. I hope that it serves you well, too. ▼

Image: Human Currents, Kim Lieberman, 2006, oil paint on postage stamp paper, 84 x 29 inches. © Kim Lieberman

~ Dzigar Kongtrul is a professor of Buddhist philosophy at Naropa University and the founder of Mangala Shri Bhuti, a Buddhist teaching organization. This piece has been excerpted from his new book, Light Comes Through: Buddhist Teachings on Awakening to Our Natural Intelligence, © 2008, and reprinted with permission from Shambhala Publications, shambhala.com.

Jed Diamond - Mentored Boys or Monster Boys

From The Good Men Project, this article by Jed Diamond looks at the importance of mentoring for boys and young men - and more than that, he looks at the importance of rites of passage.

Mentored Boys or Monster Boys

MAY 5, 2013 BY JED DIAMOND PH.D

“In the absence of elders, the impetuosity of youth becomes the slow death of the community.” Jed Diamond takes his grandson on a rite of passage. 

I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you.

I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many years ago I attended a mentoring workshop with ritual elder, Malidoma Somé. He said, “Elders and mentors have an irreplaceable function in the life of any community. Without them, the young are lost—their overflowing energies wasted in useless pursuits.”

He went on to remind us that “old must live in the young like a grounding force that tames the tendency towards bold but senseless actions and shows them the path of wisdom. In the absence of elders, the impetuosity of youth becomes the slow death of the community.” Psychologist Robert Moore offers a chilling recognition of what happens when young men are not mentored or given initiations into manhood. He says we move from healthy masculinity to monster-boy masculinity.

Comedian Elayne Boosler offers a humorous, yet insightful assessment about the different ways males and females deal with the stresses of life. “When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.” If we’re going to heal males and save humanity, there’s nothing more important than mentoring our young men.

My grandson, Deon, was dealing with a lot of stress, had few mentors in his life, and his anger was causing problems at home and at school. He had gotten in trouble with some other kids and came to the attention of the local police. His father and mother (my daughter) were divorced and his father didn’t spend a lot of time with him. I was hoping that attending the 4 day “Call to Adventure Rites of Passage Retreat,” sponsored by the Los Angeles Men’s Center, would help him at this important transition time in his life. I chose the Men’s Center Call to Adventure (CTA) because I knew it was high quality and also because they reached out to inner city Black kids between the ages 12 and 20. My first wife and I adopted Angela when she was 3 ½ months old. She’s Black and has four kids. Deon is the oldest boy.

I drove down from my home in Willits, picked Deon up at his home in Bakersfield, and headed for Los Angeles. Deon didn’t say much driving down. He’s a quiet kid. But he told me he wanted to do the retreat.

We needed a rest stop so I pulled off the freeway in Encino and stopped at a small park. I had remembered it from my childhood. It was a place my father had taken me numerous times before I was five years old. I thought we might get inspiration from being there, but was not prepared for what my grandson had to say as we sat in the grass. “You said you were interested in some kind of rite of passage from boyhood to manhood. What is it you’re wanting to get from the experience?” I wanted to know.

I expected his usual shake of the head or an “I don’t know.” But what he said was amazingly clear and concise. “I want three things,” he told me. “I need guidance. I also want more confidence. And I want respect.” I told him I thought with that kind of clarity and desire he would get what he wanted.

I also asked him what he thought the qualities of a good man were for him. Again, I was surprised by his insights and vision. He gave me seven things he associated with being a good man.

1. A good man takes care of himself and his family.
2. A good man is a working man and has a job.
3. A good man knows what’s right and what is wrong.
4. If he’s right a good man stands up for himself, but doesn’t make the other person wrong.
5. A good man apologizes when he’s wrong.
6. A good man helps people when they need help.
7. A good man always has a back-up plan.

I’ve learned from many years of experience that no matter how clear our vision of what we want in life we’re not likely to be successful achieving it without a connection with mentors and a healing community. I had chosen this rite of passage experience because of the connection I’ve had with the founder of the Los Angeles Men’s Center, Dr. Stephen Johnson. I’ve known Stephen for more than 25 years and have found him to be one of the most grounded and compassionate men I know. He’s written a wonderful book, The Sacred Path: The Way of the Spiritual Warrior, that gathers his experiences working with men and providing Rites of Passage for both young males and adult men over the last 35 years.

“Our young males are yearning for a sense of belonging,” says Johnson. “Inner city youth, succumbing to the dramatic absence of fathering and mentoring, turn to urban gangs for a sense of belonging. Males from privileged and underprivileged backgrounds often perceive acquisitions as the measure of manhood.” Johnson started offering the Call to Adventure retreats 14 years ago to make a difference in the lives of young men and older mentors.

When we arrived at the site for the retreat, I was knocked out by the peace, serenity, and beauty of the place. It’s located on a bluff 800 feet above Camp Hess Kramer and the Pacific coast and boasts spectacular views of the ocean, Channel Islands and surrounding Santa Monica Mountains. It triggered memories from when I attended U.C. Santa Barbara and was embarking on my own journey to manhood.

A good setting can go a long way towards a good experience and I was looking forward to seeing how the place would interact with the people and the program. We had arrived early and a staff member welcomed us and invited us to help build the sweat lodge which would be part of the ceremonial experience we would take part in later.

I was tired from the drive, but Deon volunteered right away and went off with the guys to help. It turned out that the sweat lodge became one of the cornerstone experiences for Deon in the weekend. Our group participated the next day. We listened to Inipi Sweat Lodge Ceremony leader Thomas Alvarez describe the way in which the sweat lodge was used by native peoples throughout the world to cleanse, pray, and ask for guidance.

One of the young men who had participated in a number of previous CTA retreats encouraged our group of adults and young men prior to going into the lodge. “This may be a new experience for many of you and it’s not the kind of thing most of us have done where we come from,” he told us. “But it can be a very powerful way of asking for guidance and getting support. It will be hot and dark and your natural tendency may be to get away as fast as you can, but hang in there if you can and you’ll get something important.”

He also told us that sometimes we sweat for others who are carrying a lot pain and difficulty in their lives but can’t be there. He said he was doing this for himself and also for his twin brother who was in prison. I thought of my daughter Angela and her family and wanted to help carry some of the burden of the pain she lived with every day as she dealt with the stresses of her family life.

There were “four rounds” to the experience and Thomas guided our prayers and sang to the spirits. It got very, very hot, but Deon and most of the others hung in there. By the end we all felt cleansed, had been forced to deal with our fears, and felt stronger for having gone through the experience together. After dinner that evening we met in small “tribal” groups with 10-15 adult mentors and kids.

We went around the circle and talked a bit about why we were here. Deon opened up immediately and told the group, “I’m lost in my life and I need guidance.” Young and old knew what he meant and many opened up to their own feelings of being lost. For the first time I had a deep experience of the violence that so many of these kids live with every day. One boy talked about killings he had seen in his neighborhood and Deon also talked about people he knew who had been killed. Another young boy said that didn’t want a lot in life, just to know that he would survive another day.

Steve Branker, one of the Men’s Center organizers said, “The pressures that these young men face in everyday life are astounding. Instead of primarily dealing with such things as schoolwork and girlfriends, they are dealing with whether or not they will come back alive after they walk out of their homes each day.”

I thought to myself, “God, they’re so small and what they are dealing with is so big.” I felt the terrible loss and pain that so many experience, but also the courage they had to break free of the life of violence and to reach for something better. I felt deeply blessed to be able to share this experience with my grandson and the other mentors who were committed to helping these kids survive their childhood and grow into adults who had something they could look forward to in life.

The next day we had the opportunity to confront the Ropes Course where leaders from Fulcrum, Inc. engaged us in taking risks to stretch ourselves and to celebrate their motto of Do, Risk, Grow and cultivate the potential greatness of each individual and the group as a whole. It was inspiring to see kids and adults reaching past their fear to test themselves and their limits.

As we gathered for our final goodbyes Stephen reminded us about why we were here and what we still had to accomplish. “Our boys, young men, and our mature men are calling on us to explore with clarity what the role of fathers, grandfathers, and mentors should be. If we do not provide a sacred role for our boys as they grow, they are more likely to join a gang, abuse their lovers, abandon their wives and children, subsist in emotional isolation, and become addicted, hyper-materialistic, lonely, and unhappy.”

“A boy needs a structure and discipline in which to learn who he is. He needs to live a journey that has clear responsibilities and goals. He needs a role in life. Without these, without the role training that accompanies these, he does not know his sacred and important objectives in life.” Deon leaned over and whispered to me, “Can I come back next year?”

“If you want to come back, we’ll make it happen,” I told him. “And maybe we’ll get your dad and younger brother to come as well. What do you think?” He just smiled and nodded his head.


~ If you’d like to learn more about these important programs for mentoring young men, visit the Men’s Center website.
~ Read more on Mentoring & Volunteering.
~ Images courtesy of the author

Periodic Table of Bodyweight Exercises

From Strength Stack 52, this is a pretty cool chart of bodyweight exercises that require no additional equipment. Open the fully clickable PDF at this link.

Periodic Table of Bodyweight Exercises

Embed this fitness infographic into your website or social media account using this embed code at the bottom of this page

Right click on this Periodic Table of Bodyweight Exercises link and select “save link as” to save a clickable copy to your computer.

ANNOUNCEMENT: PINTREST CONTEST! Pin this to your PINTREST board (using the icon above). We will select 5 winners at random who will get a free Strength Stack 52!

Submit a bodyweight exercise and we may include it in the infograph! Submit your bodyweight exercise here. Remember: all of the exercises displayed in this infographic use NO EQUIPMENT!

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Courtesy of: Strength Stack 52

Mens Telesummit 2013 - May 7 - May 23 (free)

For your consideration.

Mens Telesummit 2013 - May 7 - May 23



May 7, 8 and 9, 2013

Today's man faces challenges in all aspects of his life: work, health and relationships. These challenges can seem overwhelming at times, resulting in stress, depression, anger, bankruptcy, foreclosure and divorce. How can a man feel a sense of peace, purpose and passion? Where is man's connection to Self, Source, Nature or Creator? This week we will investigate a variety of ways men can deepen their connection to Spirit.


May 7 at 2pm CT Dennis Lewis
May 7 at 7pm CT Stephen Dinan
May 8 at 2pm CT Daniel Gutierrez
May 8 at 7pm CT Debra Poneman
May 9 at 10am CT Saniel Bonder


May 9 at 2pm CT Terry Patten
May 9 at 7pm CT Craig Hamilton




May 14, 15 and 16, 2013

What does it take to be successful in your career? How can you make your work meaningful? Can you find the balance between work, family and Spirit? This week we will investigate a variety of ways men can find fulfillment at work.


May 14 at 10am CT Chris Attwood
May 14 at 10am CT Randy Crutcher
May 14 at 2pm CT Vic Johnson
May 15 at 2pm CT Zappy Zapolin
May 15 at 7pm CT Ryan Harris


May 16 at 10am CT James Braha
May 16 at 2pm CT Lama Surya Das
May 16 at 7pm CT Lewis Denbaum




May 21, 22 and 23, 2013

With 50% of marriages and 80% of cohabitations failing, what can men do to find nourishing, intimate relationships? How do men pursue a relationships in a world in which all the rules have changed or are non-existent? This week we will investigate a variety of ways men can create rewarding, intimate relationships.


May 21 at 10am CT Mark Schillinger
May 21 at 10am CT Richard Platt
May 21 at 2pm CT Bill Kauth
May 21 at 7pm CT Susan Bratton
May 22 at 10am CT David Kaar


May 22 at 2pm CT Lion Goodman
May 23 at 2pm CT Yakov Smirnoff
May 23 at 7pm CT Michael Taylor




Receive Free Attendance at Men’s Telesummit w/ 23 speakers on 21 topics. You’ll receive e-mail notification of call start times and free replay availability.

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It's nice to see students at the University of Arizona, here in Tucson, taking steps to redefine masculinity in an effort to reduce sexual violence. I'd really like to see similar programs in the local middle schools and high schools as well - if we can get to them when they are younger, we have a better chance of helping young men grow up to be good adult men.

UA Men's Project redefines masculinity, aims to raise awareness of rape culture

By SHELBY THOMAS 

Published May 1, 2013

Gabriela Diaz/Arizona Daily Wildcat The Men’s Project’s Devon Moule, an anthropology junior and one of the project’s founding interns, volunteers ...

With numerous on-campus programs committed to supporting various factions of the student body, the UA is now welcoming an internship program unique to the male population.

Only one semester old, The Men’s Project was developed through the Women’s Resource Center by Krista Millay, the program director of the WRC. Millay said she has always wanted to offer a space for men to talk about masculinity and about being a guy at the UA.

“If we want college men to engage critically, become their own people and be allies to other identities, then we need to create a space for them to go through that same journey, just like other students get,” Millay said. “Just like all student populations, our college men need some support that is geared toward them. The reality is that they need a space to grapple with issues: The good, the bad and the otherwise. I don’t think that masculinity normally gets that kind of airtime.”

The Men’s Project is run as an internship program that requires ten hours a week from its interns in exchange for three academic credits per semester, Millay said. These hours consist of a team business meeting as well as a critical discussion of current issues within pop culture. The interns also participate in separate projects. In the spring semester, they participated in the planning of Take Back the Night and the development of the curriculum for “The MENS Workshop,” a judicial sanction through the Dean of Student’s Office.

“We hope to develop this program further so that it is also a leadership class that students can take — not just because they have been sanctioned to it, but because they are interested in these topics and want a space to explore them further in a positive and supportive setting,” Millay said.

Michael Webb, a gender and women’s studies senior, is one of the founding interns of the Men’s Project, which he defines as a “program that questions aspects of college male culture and perceptions of masculinity.” Webb said specific questions the organization strives to answer and address include, “What kind of gender stereotypes are in place in our society? What boxes are we putting people in, in terms of the range of expression that we are able to embody in our day-to-day life?”

Webb’s passion for these topics made for a successful first semester for the internship, and now, Millay said she is confident that Alex Karaman, a graduate student working toward his Ph.D. in gender and women’s studies, will continue to improve The Men’s Project as the graduate assistant for the 2013 fall semester.

Karaman was a political science student at Cal State University at Long Beach when he took his first women’s studies course.

He said “the perspective that the course offered on relations between people … was so much more in line with how he had viewed the world,” and he quickly added gender and women’s studies as a second major as a result.

As an undergraduate student, Karaman said he was involved in campus politics and often addressed issues relating to college rape culture and sexual violence. He said when he saw there was an opportunity for this kind of work to take place on the UA campus, he jumped at it.

Although he has new ideas for the fall semester, Karaman said that there have already been great strides made to make The Men’s Project a very “legitimate and central part of the university structure.” He said his goal is to continue these successful services.

For example, Karaman said The Men’s Project will continue to hold “The Men’s Workshop” a few times a semester that will be mandatory for students who are repeat offenders of the Code of Conduct — more specifically, those who have broken rules that seem to indicate the influence of college male culture, such as “issues of violence” or “sexual assault.”

“Our purpose is largely to show that there are men that are actively engaged in trying to change this rape culture,” Karaman said. “I want programming to be made available that is proactive rather than reactive.”

Wow. Seriously!? Leave it to MTv to come up with something as asinine as this. What men do NOT need is to be judged on their masculinity. Period.

Even worse, if that is possible, is that the guys will be judged masculine or not according to the Guy Code, another MTv show in which men discuss manly things (like porn, drinking like a man, manscaping, masturbating, ex-girlfriends, and so on).

They really should call this the Man Box, as in a little tiny box that en are supposed to fit themselves into to be considered masculine.

Via Huffington Post.

'Guy Court': MTV's New Reality Show Judges Male Contestants' Masculinity

The Huffington Post | Posted: 04/29/2013

Forget Judge Judy, now there's a court-based TV show designed especially for bros, called "Guy Court"! Faux legal drama and reinforcing stereotypical masculinity? Just what unscripted television always needed...

"Guy Court," which will premiere on MTV2 this fall, seems to take every stereotype about men and cram it into a television series. Here is the official description of "Guy Court", which seems to be a spin-off of the existing series "Guy Code," where dudes discuss dude topics (via Yahoo):

In the half-hour comedic courtroom series Guy Court, ... the laws of manhood will be upheld as some familiar MTV2 faces will determine the guilt or innocence of a variety of cases in accordance with Guy Code. Each real life case will be judged, defended and prosecuted with the perfect combination of comedy and justice.

One can only wonder what sort of "cases" this TV show will address. The aforementioned "Guy Code" features commentary on topics like girlfriends, bachelor pads, cars and "drinking like a man." "Girl Code," the show's lady counterpart, touches on typically women-centric topics like crushes, boobs and trying not to get "sloppy drunk."

There are already enough things out there that remind us what it means to be the "right kind" of woman or man. We probably don't need an MTV show to enforce it.

[H/T The Frisky]

From The Frisky:

“Guy Code” refers to another reality show which airs on MTV2 and determines the bro-ishness of topics such as bachelor parties, rebounds, wine, manscaping, crying, and shopping. (Another spinoff, “Girl Code,” debuted this week, which you can watch online.) I know these types of shows just exist for a few laughs, but I’m so over policing other people on how they perform their gender. Girls can play football and fart. Guys can drink white wine and cry. (Hopefully not in that order.) How about we just let people be people?

Exactly!

Jason Collins - "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay"

Collins (right) guarding Shaq

It was going to happen at some point, and now it has - a male athlete in one of the four big team sports (MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL) has come out and will go forward living as an openly gay man. Congratulations to Jason Collins for choosing to be himself, and feeling comfortable enough to do so.

But Collins is 34 years old, and he is a perennial backup center in a sport where big men are often done at his age - and he is free agent. The big question is whether or not he will be on an NBA roster next season. If not, his coming out will still be a good thing, but we not yet know how an openly gay athlete will be accepted in the locker room.

Here is some of the Sports Illustrated article:

By its nature, my double life has kept me from getting close to any of my teammates. Early in my career I worked hard at acting straight, but as I got more comfortable in my straight mask it required less effort. In recent days, though, little has separated "mask on, mask off." Personally, I don't like to dwell in someone else's private life, and I hope players and coaches show me the same respect. When I'm with my team I'm all about working hard and winning games. A good teammate supports you no matter what.

I've been asked how other players will respond to my announcement. The simple answer is, I have no idea. I'm a pragmatist. I hope for the best, but plan for the worst. The biggest concern seems to be that gay players will behave unprofessionally in the locker room. Believe me, I've taken plenty of showers in 12 seasons. My behavior wasn't an issue before, and it won't be one now. My conduct won't change. I still abide by the adage, "What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room." I'm still a model of discretion.

As I write this, I haven't come out to anyone in the NBA. I'm not privy to what other players say about me. Maybe Mike Miller, my old teammate in Memphis, will recall the time I dropped by his house in Florida and say, "I enjoyed being his teammate, and I sold him a dog." I hope players swap stories like that. Maybe they'll talk about my character and what kind of person I am.

As far as the reaction of fans, I don't mind if they heckle me. I've been booed before. There have been times when I've wanted to boo myself. But a lot of ill feelings can be cured by winning.

I'm a veteran, and I've earned the right to be heard. I'll lead by example and show that gay players are no different from straight ones. I'm not the loudest person in the room, but I'll speak up when something isn't right. And try to make everyone laugh.

I've never sought the spotlight. Though I'm coming out to the world, I intend to guard my privacy. I'm making this blanket statement in part to keep rumors and misunderstandings at bay. I hope fans will respect me for raising my hand. And I hope teammates will remember that I've never been an in-your-face kind of guy. All you need to know is that I'm single. I see no need to delve into specifics.
I've been asked how other players will respond to my announcement. The simple answer is, I have no idea. I'm a pragmatist. I hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

Look at what happened in the military when the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy was repealed. Critics of the repeal were sure that out military members would devastate morale and destroy civilization. But a new study conducted by scholars from every branch of the armed forces except the Coast Guard concluded that "cohesion did not decline after the new policy of open service was put into place. In fact, greater openness and honesty resulting from repeal seem to have promoted increased understanding, respect and acceptance."

The same goes for sports. Doc Rivers, my coach on the Celtics, says, "If you want to go quickly, go by yourself -- if you want to go farther, go in a group." I want people to pull together and push ahead.

Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it's a good place to start. It all comes down to education. I'll sit down with any player who's uneasy about my coming out. Being gay is not a choice. This is the tough road and at times the lonely road. Former players like Tim Hardaway, who said "I hate gay people" (and then became a supporter of gay rights), fuel homophobia. Tim is an adult. He's entitled to his opinion. God bless America. Still, if I'm up against an intolerant player, I'll set a pretty hard pick on him. And then move on.

The most you can do is stand up for what you believe in. I'm much happier since coming out to my friends and family. Being genuine and honest makes me happy.

At The Atlantic, there is a good response to this story.

Why Jason Collins's Coming Out Is Such a Big Deal

Everyone's been waiting for a major male sports star to make a move like this. Here's why it's so much harder for men than for women.

GARANCE FRANKE-RUTA

APR 29 2013

Washington Wizards' Jason Collins (L) goes to the basket against Chicago Bulls' Taj Gibson during the first half of their NBA basketball game in Chicago, April 17, 2013. (Jim Young/Reuters)

Female professional athletes are already gender non-conforming. Male ones are still worshiped as exemplars of traditional masculinity. Extremely sporty women have to fight stereotyping that they are lesbians and ignore all manner of unkind commentary about how they are mannish, while sporty men are seen as participating in a form of the masculine ideal.

This is the backdrop to why N.B.A. center Jason Collins' revelations in a Sport Illustrated piece today that he is gay are such a big deal -- and why it is that similar recent revelations from the this year's W.N.B.A. Number 1 draft pickBrittney Griner were greeted in mid-April with a collective yawn.

Women who play professional sports are grown-up versions of what we still to this day call "tomboys," a linguistic relic of our cognitive inability to see outdoorsy, competitive, rough-and-tumble behavior as inherently and naturally female, as well as male. Remember when people were speculating that then Supreme Court-nominee Elena Kagan was a lesbian just because she played on a softball team? "Sorry, softball=lesbian," wrote Brian Moylan in Gawker. (Yeah, that still happens.) Team sports have about them something martial or manly, which means that female team sports are often seen as butch activities. Meanwhile, men who participate in activities like gymnastics or ice skating are often stereotyped as gay; even though they are athletes, they are taking part in something more feminine. As King Kaufman observed in Salon in 2002: "The average American sports fan, watching the Olympic men's figure skating competition, probably figured that most of the contestants were gay." He then went on to debunk this assumption in a conversation with U.S. Olympic medalist Rudy Galindo, "the first actively competing figure skater who was out as being gay."

There have been many female athletes who have come out of the closet and been pioneers. Tennis great Billie Jean King. Tennis player Martina Navratilova. WNBA player Sheryl Swoopes, the "female Michael Jordan." Soccer midfielderMegan Rapinoe. Most recently, we had the example of college basketball phenom Griner. Her casual mention earlier this year that she's gay was greeted with aNew York Times story headlined, "Female Star Comes Out as Gay, and Sports World Shrugs." Why was her declaration seen as not such a big deal? Because she was female, according to the paper of record.

"It was an odd juxtaposition," the paper's Sam Borden wrote, "as there is increased speculation about whether a male athlete -- any male athlete -- will come out while still playing a major professional team sport, one of the best female athletes in the history of team sports comes out, and the reaction is roughly equivalent to what one might see when a baseball manager reveals his starting rotation for a three-game series in July."

The reality is that by becoming a top-ranking female basketball player, Griner had already done hard work violating gender norms and was already seen as a gender outlier. "In sports right now, there are two different stereotypes -- that there are no gay male athletes, and every female athlete is a lesbian," Patrick Burke of the gay sports advocacy group You Can Play told the Times. "We've had tremendous success in getting straight male players to speak to the issue; we're having a tougher time finding straight female athletes speaking on this issue because they've spent their entire careers fighting the perception that they're a lesbian."

But a traditionally masculine man, playing a traditionally masculine team sport -- and he's gay? Well, that's news.

America's Military-Masculinity Complex and Other Issues of Masculinity

From Bookforum's Omnivore blog, an interesting collection of links about masculinity - most of them dealing with the more toxic and violent (i.e., archaic) forms of masculinity. Looking at these, you might think men were little more than sexually coercive and violent criminals/terrorists.

Of these, the first one is perhaps the most interesting - here is the abstract:

Feminism, Masculinities, and Multiple Identities
Martha Albertson Fineman

Abstract:
Masculinities scholarship could be seen as distinct from and complementary to feminist theory — an independent and parallel companion theory, developed by men. In this regard, from a feminist’s perspective masculinities scholarship might be thought of as ethnography, helpfully providing insights into the operations and assumptions of a distinct masculine culture. This approach would seem to validate the notion that there are significant differences between men’s and women’s experiences and perspectives, and consideration of both is necessary to form a complete legal theory picture. Feminist legal theory and masculinities theory are thus seen as both contrasting and complementary in nature.

On the other hand, masculinities scholarship can be understood as providing the basis for a critique of feminist legal theory. This approach begins with the allegation that feminist legal theory generally and incorrectly treats men as a monolithic group when there is in fact a multiplicity of male identities. Masculinities scholarship, in this framing, could be categorized as the male-focused companion to critiques that have been made over the past thirty years that feminist legal theory is excluding and essentializing. It is this understanding of the significance of masculinities to feminist legal theory that prompted this Essay.

Toxic masculinity

APR 29 2013

9:00AM

• Martha Albertson Fineman (Emory): Feminism, Masculinities, and Multiple Identities. 
• Jamie R. Abrams (Louisville): Enforcing Masculinities at the Borders. 
• Why is the social shaping of masculinity not an urgent policy issue? Cynthia Cockburn and Ann Oakley on the cost of masculine crime. 
• Andrea Castillo on the problems with “patriarchy”: How does a system that was supposedly created for the domination of men fail so miserably to save such a large number of its prized specimens from such dreadful outcomes? 
• Jaclyn Friedman on Toxic Masculinity: If we want to end the pandemic of rape, it’s going to require an entire global movement of men willing to do the hard work of interrogating the ideas they were raised with. 
• Why are terrorists so often men? Tamerlan Tsarnaev was performing a kind of masculinity through public destruction. 
• America's military-masculinity complex is generating violence on a mass scale — at home.