Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Friend We Want To Be - Evaluating Our Relationships

This Daily Om from a couple of days ago is a good meditation on how to be a good friend. Men have some issues in this area in my experience. We tend to sexualize friendships with women and have shallow friendships with other men. Neither is terrible healthy.

Sometimes we need to reevaluate our friends. Are they healthy for us? Do they support us to be our better selves? Can we be ourselves with them?

Likewise, we need to consider the friend we are to others. If we are not offering good friendship, the kind of friendship we want in return, we are not likely to feel safe and supported in our friendships.

The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships

It is important to look at ourselves and notice what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we’re trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

No comments: