Loss Of Virginity More Humiliating Than Original Virginity

For a lot of guys, I suspect there is some real truth in this satire from The Onion. If only there had been REAL sex education classes - not the stuff about how babies are made and "just say no," but real education about sexual response patterns in men and women [boys know nothing about this until they have a girlfriend who teaches them], about intimacy as foreplay, and about ways to be sexual without intercourse.

But of course the religious folks would never tolerate real education about sex - they'd rather shame the young women who get pregnant and seek abortions than do anything that might prevent pregnancy in the first place. And it's all made worse with so many young guys learning about sex from internet porn - dudes, it ain't like that in the real world.

Okay, down from my soapbox - this is funny, and sad, and a lot too true for many of us. It's from 2007, but this is timeless.

Loss Of Virginity More Humiliating Than Original Virginity 

ISSUE 43•47 • Nov 20, 2007

COLUMBUS, OH—The shame, humiliation, and ridicule local teen Brandon Means suffered from being the only member of his peer group still burdened with his own virginity were nothing compared to what he felt on the night he finally lost it, the 17-year-old said Monday. "I have never been so embarrassed in all of my life," Means said of the Saturday night fiasco. After some awkward fumbling, Means prematurely ejaculated, and, while trying to clean the semen off himself and girlfriend Kassi Helms, also 17, with a sock from his bedroom floor, he managed only to smear them both with lint. "There was this moment when I was on top of her and she realized I really didn't know where her [vagina] was, so she kind of had to steer my [penis] inside it, but at that point I was so demoralized that I lost my [erection]." Means added that when he heard his father enter the house, forcing both teenagers to immediately stop and clothe themselves, he had never felt a stronger sense of relief.