Do you live in the "man box" or do you set your own standards and agenda for life? In the article below, re-posted at the Good Men Project, that question (in all its various forms) is identified as the "man up" moment - the point in our lives when we have to choose who we are and who we want to be(come).
When a man faces a crisis — any kind of real life-changing crisis, whether it’s financial, familial, physical, emotional, or female — that’s when he’ll know what kind of stuff he’s really made of.This is true, for the most part.
When your moment comes, will be ready for it? Will you know who you are and what you are about in the world?
JULY 17, 2013 BY VICTORY UNLIMITED
Victory Unlimited provides a series of questions for men to discover their self worth and achieve a fuller potential.
There comes a time…there always does…when a man is forced to choose. Not just between what woman he will pick over another, not just between which career choices he will make over another — but between what kind of man he is now and what kind of man he will be.
There will come a time in your life when that question will be asked of you, whether you’re 18 or 85. There will come a moment in your life where you will indeed be forced to answer it with either your words, your actions, or BOTH. Rest assured, if it has not already happened yet, your manhood, and how you have chosen to define it will be called upon to “present itself” at the verbal or nonverbal demand of either some “one” in your life or some “situation” at hand.
Often this roll call to self-identify will come as a surprise. Rare is it that a man actually has time to consciously prepare for this moment of truth — this moment that will forever distinguish “who he really is”, compared to “who he thinks he is”. When a man faces a crisis — any kind of real life-changing crisis, whether it’s financial, familial, physical, emotional, or female — that’s when he’ll know what kind of stuff he’s really made of.
What kind of man are you?
Actually, this is a question that you will be much better off asking yourself, as opposed to waiting for circumstances to put you in a position where you have to answer it. No, it’s much better to ask and answer this question of yourself, and for yourself — now. Self-discovery, much like self-development, and then ultimately — self-deployment is not something that you can always prepare yourself for beforehand. These three phases of fulfillment, these three steps toward spiritual empowerment, and these three necessities for achieving greater heights of personal peace and happiness are not an event — they are a process. And the only way that process can begin with the most chance of overall life success is by means of self-discovery.
Every man, if he’s honest, knows when he’s faced, or is facing, his “Man Up Moment” — that exact moment in his life that separates his Stand Around days from his Stand Up days. This initial phase of the process, this kind of self-discovery, because of it’s suddenness, really is an event. An event that forces him totally awake to the consequences and gravity of his life choices.
So though the scenarios may be different, the question remains the same.
What kind of man are you?
Are you a man who puts off things until tomorrow that he knows he should do today? Or are you a man who does things today in order to increase his chances of having a better tomorrow?
Are you a man who stays in torturous, toxic relationships with women you know that are bad for you? Or are you a man who believes in himself, respects himself, and loves himself enough to break free from bad relationships in order to make room for good ones?
Are you a man who treats all women badly because some women before have dogged you out? Or, are you a man who learns from the past, takes it into account, but rationally judges the next woman he meets based on her actions as opposed to the actions of those that came before her?
Are you a man who works a job he hates, who always complains, and sells his soul to “the company store” out of abject fear for his financial future? Or, are you a man who goes after the career he really wants or works towards starting that business he really wants by using the resources from that job he hates to finance achieving those things he really loves?
Are you a man who has convinced himself that it’s better to be SAFE — at home, fantasizing about all the women you see on the Internet? Or are you a man who has DECIDED that he’s worthy enough and courageous enough to risk meeting real women in real life in order to form real relationships?
Are you a successful man who sees nothing wrong with stepping on other innocent men, women, and even “children” as long as you can get what you want? Or, are you a man who has become successful in life, but now also uses your success to inspire and motivate others in desperate need — those who are still struggling valiantly to achieve for themselves just half of what you’ve already accomplished?
Are you a man who measures his fulfillment in life by how much personal, unbridled, nondiscriminatory pleasure you can experience without any regard to the well-being of others? Or, are you a man who has chosen to live his life by a set of well-thought out moral standards, codes of ethics, or personal principles that inspire you to treat others as you’d like to be treated?
Are you a man who pretends to ignore injustice and laughs at things that are not funny? Or, are you a man that challenges ideas and viewpoints that should be challenged —a man that respectfully, but firmly speaks up and takes a stand for what he believes in?
What kind of man are you?
How would you answer that question to yourself? And when you answer it honestly, are you happy with the answer you give?In fact, if you died today, and you were attending your own memorial service — do you think that YOUR answer to that question would be the same answer that those who know you would give about you? If so, then consider yourself fortunate, because not only is there a good chance that you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s also likely that who you think you are is in-line with the image that you project to those around you.
Which brings to mind some follow up questions:
“If you do know who you are as a man, are you also HAPPY with the man that you are?”
After reading that question, I can almost hear you say, “Happiness is such a ubiquitous, ethereal term, how can anyone really know if they’re happy or not?”
Well, in an effort to help you answer the question that I have posed, you would do well to remember that the word “happiness” is synonymous with other words and phrases like “being content”, “being at peace”, “being glad”, or “being satisfied”. So, with that being said, know that the Victory Unlimited definition of being “happy” with what kind of man you are is to be able to look back at who you are and what you did yesterday — and still have a deep, inner sense of contentment, peace, gladness, or satisfaction when you think about it today.
Therefore, if this is where you are as a man — you’re on a good path. But also, if you happen to be a man who has just faced his “Man Up Moment”, found yourself wanting, and has come out of it “not” liking who you are — the good news is that all is not lost. Why? Because every day alive is another chance to get it right. As long as your heart is beating, the clock is still ticking, and time is on your side.
Every day alive is another day of grace — another day for redemption. So as long as you never turn back, never give up, and never surrender in your fight to become a better man today than you were yesterday — you will ultimately win. So stay locked, loaded, and armed with a positive attitude while you continue to aim at becoming the kind of man you want to be.