Michael J. Formica - Sexuality, Intimacy and the Masculine/Feminine Archetype

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An interesting post from a few days back at the Psychology Today Blogs, from Michael J. Formica of Enlightened Living. This is a good look at the reality of personas (masks) and deeper interior selves - we sometimes tend to think that what we see is all there is, but that is seldom the case, especially with men.

Sexuality, Intimacy and the Masculine/Feminine Archetype

By Michael J. Formica on February 07, 2009 in Enlightened Living

A great deal of couples work focuses on intimacy and sexuality or, more to the point, the lack and loss of it. In a recent post, I mentioned the differences in the way that men and women approach emotional connection and sexuality. A bit of reflection upon that model begs an exploration of the role of masculine and feminine archetypes in this, and how those constructs complement and conflict with socially defined gender roles.

It's no secret that there is what we might call a cycle of declination when it comes to sex in relationships. We typically start out hot and heavy; we can't keep our hands off each other, grabbing a quicky, being adventurous, and trying new things, exploring each other and our limits. Fifteen years, a house, a dog, a mortgage, and a few kids in, most couples I talk with aren't even sleeping in the same room.

There are all sorts of reasons for this, questions often better left to experts on the subject, but the psychodynamics of this change tend to be expressed by couples in a fairly consistent fashion. Plainly put, women point to the emotionally unavailability of their partner, while men point to the sexual unavailability of theirs.

Read the whole post.

Here is a key quote:

If we peel away the gender roles here and look at the manifestation of the masculine and feminine archetypes in terms of personality and social presentation, something interesting happens. We get a grey area. It is no longer that men are linear and women global or women are contemplative and men physical. What arises is an awareness of the delicate balance of social roles, gender roles and archetypal tendencies.

I would add to this that we are also a mixture of the various "parts" or subpersonalities that inhabit our psyches, some useful and necessary and some disruptive and outgrown. We are never just one self, as the Buddha also taught, so to see someone else as just one thing is to disregard their full humanity.

Tags: psychology, men, women, archetypes, parts, Sexuality, Intimacy, Masculine/Feminine Archetype, Michael J. Formica, Psychology Today, stereotypes, expectations, masculinity, femininity