Words Men Should Never Say . . .

. . . According to Esquire.

The Language of Men

An illustrative (and illustrated) guide to the way we talk now. Navigate the euphemisms, the idioms, the quotations, and the curses that represent us with the tabs below.

19 Things a Man Should Never Say

We would herewith like to place a ban on the following words, phrases, and expressions, for reasons of overuse, offensiveness, or just because. Plus: Profanity alternatives!

Photo credit: Jim Jurica/istock

Reach out (unless you're talking about actually reaching out... with your arm)

Panties ("underwear" does the trick)

Über-

Mixed bag

Tummy

Veggie

Vino (unless you're an Italian. In Italy.)

Natch (as opposed to "naturally")

Wingin' it ("wing it" is fine)

Nippy

The first name of any female celebrity when you don't follow it with her last name, "Miley," for instance

Pee

Belly button ("navel" is just fine)

C---

Derring-do

Going forward (pure corporate cant)

It is what it is ("The financial collapse--it is what it is.")

Boobs

Folks ("had to lay off some of our folks")

Teens

Slacks ("pants" or "trousers")

Gen (as in "gen-X," "gen-Y," "next-gen")

Expresso

Willy-nilly

Make love

Yell-o (the phone greeting)

Mommy

Cool

Bye-bye

Profanity Alternatives

* = suggested

frig

frick

fark *

feck

farg

eff

futz

---

shoot

shite *

shiyut

stuff

---

darn *

dang

durn

dadgum

---

heck *

Hades

hey

hello!

---

son of a gun

somanabatch*

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