Jayson Gaddis - Why Finding a Man Mentor Is So Essential

Over at his Revolutionary Man blog, Jayson has put up a great post on why men need mentors. This is good stuff for thought.

Why Finding a Man Mentor Is So Essential

Mon, Feb 23, 2009

Men's Spirituality, personal development, purpose, relationships

Commitment 9

I commit to finding a mentor ASAP and not doing life “alone.” I commit to always having a mentor in my life–someone I trust, respect, and want to learn from in areas where I need guidance. Then, I commit to becoming a mentor to other men (read the other 8 commitments here).

It boggles my mind how many guys still go it alone in life. In my eyes this attitude is bankrupt. Not only that, it is dangerous.

If you are a guy who “goes it alone,” try it on that you could double your impact and accelerate your growth if you found a great mentor. If you still believe you have to suck it up and that asking for help is a sign of weakness, you are asleep or stuck. It’s 2009. We are not living in 1955 anymore.

In my own life, I “went it alone” for years. “I don’t need anyone’s help” was one of my mantras. Even though I had great friends and guys I could probably lean on, I never did. Not only that, when I felt challenged in my life, most guys tried to fix it or make me feel better. It took me years to realize that’s not what I needed.

What I needed was someone to hear me, understand me, call BS on me, and then help me move forward and find solutions to my own challenges. I needed someone to teach me how to trust myself, how to love myself and how to have more successful relationships. However, that said, I just wasn’t ready.

A lot of you walk around with the complaint, “nobody understands me.” My question for you is “Do you let anyone try?”

Let’s face it, we men have a lot of unconscious blocks that keep us from the things we want–deeply satisfying relationships, money, the right job, and happiness. Men tend to blame the outside, not knowing that it’s coming from the inside.

Now, if you had a mentor, you would begin to realize that YOU are the issue in your life. YOU are the person that needs a big fat course correction. YOU are the one who could use some feedback, love, guidance, and support.

So, remember, if you know that you may benefit from a mentor, the first rule of thumb is that you have to want one. It doesn’t do a lot of good if you are not open or “coachable.”

When I was younger, I had no real mentor. Now I have several.

What exactly is a mentor? Here’s how Dictionary.com defines it:

men⋅tor

[men-tawr, -ter] Show IPA –noun

1. a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

2. an influential senior sponsor or supporter.

Let’s look a few types of mentors and you will get a sense of what kind of mentorship might benefit you.

Types of mentors:

1. The Mentor
2. The relationship mentor
3. The spiritual mentor
4. The professional mentor
5. The Coach

Let’s look at all five in detail and then determine how to find one.

Go read the whole post.

Tags: Jayson Gaddis, Revolutionary Man, Why Finding a Man Mentor Is So Essential, masculinity, mentors, personal growth, Spirituality