Friday, August 20, 2010

Embracing Grief - Grief is Important

When my father died, I had no idea how to grieve such a huge loss for a 13 year old kid. No one around me did either, so I didn't. I buried it, then proceeded to act out and self-numb for several years.

The hardest part is that this experience left me unable to properly process other losses - girlfriends, friends, whatever. If we cannot honor and process our losses, they remain like anchors in our psyches, keeping us connected to that sadness and grief. Even though we are not aware of it, those feelings will shape our responses to life.

But it doesn't have to be this way - this Daily Om speaks to being able to sit with out feelings, including grief and loss, rather the numbing them or burying them.
Embracing Grief
Grief is Important

Giving ourselves permission to be with sadness actually creates space for us to begin the healing process.

Change is something that happens each and every moment in our lives. Since nothing is constant, it may sometimes seem as if we are losing something whenever things do change. Understanding that this is part of our daily existence and that there will not only be gains but also losses in our lives can help us more readily accept and deal with whatever happens.

Whenever we lose something or somebody we love, it is important for us to take time out for ourselves and truly feel the weight of what we are experiencing. Although it may seem that doing so will push us into a deeper state of sadness, truly giving ourselves permission to be with whatever arises actually creates space for us to begin the healing process. This is because the act of grieving is a natural process, allowing us to sort through the range of emotions that are present in our everyday existence. Even though it may sometimes seem easier to involve ourselves in activities that take our minds off of our sadness, this will only make the route to healing more difficult. Unless we listen to where we are in the moment, the emotions we experience will only grow in intensity, and our feelings will manifest themselves in more powerful and less comfortable ways. Once we consciously acknowledge that these emotions are present, however, we are more able to soothe the sorrow of the moment. In so doing, we become more open to our natural ability to heal ourselves.

Grieving doesn’t have to be a process that keeps us rooted in our thoughts of fear and sadness. For the moment we might feel despondent, but by expressing and coping with our true feelings, we face the sadness head-on. When we allow ourselves to accept and deal with our loss fully, we will then be able to continue our life’s journey with a much more positive and accepting outlook. This will make it easier for us to see that our grief is ephemeral and, just like our moments of happiness, it will also come to pass.

What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion

No comments: