Sunday, January 30, 2011

Temporarily Out Of Balance - Going Through A Phase

When we feel out of balance and that our lives have gotten off track in some way, it's very easy to become caught up in the feeling and see that as our reality. However, if we can take a step back and look at the big picture, see the narrative arc of our lives, so to speak, we begin to understand that these difficulties, whatever form they take, are not our reality, but only a temporary phase. This too shall pass.

In this Daily Om, they are talking more about the imbalance that occurs as we learn new skills or adopt new behaviors. One of the "warnings" that come with entering therapy is that your life is about to become very unbalanced - old behaviors may no longer feel right, but the new ones you might be learning are not yet comfortable.

When we grow, our balance gets thrown off for a bit. The important thing is to flow with it, and if you are in relationship, PLEASE be sure to talk to your partner about what you are experiencing - make her (or him) an ally, a partner in the process. To do otherwise can destroy a relationship.
Temporarily Out Of Balance
Going Through A Phase

In the process of becoming, we can become out of balance temporarily, but know it is only a phase and will pass.

We are all almost always in the process of learning something new, developing an underused ability or talent, or toning down an overused one. Some of us are involved in learning how to speak up for ourselves, while others are learning how to be more considerate. In the process of becoming, we are always developing and fine tuning one or the other of our many qualities, and it is a natural part of this process that things tend to get out of balance. This may be upsetting to us, or the people around us, but we can trust that it’s a normal part of the work of self-development.

For example, we may go through a phase of needing to learn how to say no, as part of learning to set boundaries and take care of ourselves. During this time, we might say no to just about everything, as a way of practicing and exploring this ability. Like a child who learns a new word, we want to try out this new avenue of expression and empowerment as much as we can because it is new and exciting for us and we want to explore it fully. In this way, we are mastering a new skill, and eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will resume its position as one part of our balanced life.

In this process, we are overcompensating for a quality that was suppressed in our life, and the swinging of the pendulum from under-use to overuse serves to bring that quality into balance. Understanding what’s happening is a useful tool that helps us to be patient with the process. In the end, the pendulum settles comfortably in the center, restoring balance inside and out.

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