Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Blixa Scott - Working Class Men are Fun and Sexy

My friend Sage posted this story at his blog, The Whole World in a Single Flower (via Alternet), and suggested I have a look at it. This is good - and it says something important about relationships.

I might be biased, however, since this could be me and my girlfriend. She's a psychotherapist shifting from a well-known and respected in-patient facility to private practice, while I, on the other hand, am a personal trainer in a corporate gym (and a freelance writer/editor, coach, etc.). Granted, I am also a graduate student, but her income is considerably more than mine right now (although I earn more per hour, which says a lot about how we value looking good physically more than our mental health).

I am not one of the men who feel somehow "less than" because I earn less than my girlfriend, and I think she enjoys that I am incredibly fit for an "older guy." The author of this article has a similar preference.

3 Huge Reasons I'd Rather Be With My Working-Class Boyfriend Than a Rich Guy

I'm a lawyer. Society (and my mom) tells me I should be desperately trying to snag another well-off, white-collar professional. But there are plenty of reasons I don't want to.

Photo Credit: hipposrunsuperfast

If I were inclined to listen to conventional wisdom, I would be forced to conclude that I’m doing terribly in the mating market. Apparently, women universally and immutably prefer to “marry up.” We want men who are more educated and earn more money, and this is the single most important trait we seek in a man.

Accordingly, I’m a real loser in the game of love. My boyfriend of four years—even though he is undeniably gorgeous, kind, and honest—falls much farther down the ladder of social prestige than me. I’m an attorney. I earned six figures my first year of practice and work in a firm whose letterhead is populated with Ivy League graduates. He gets paid by the hour to work a physically demanding job that doesn’t require a college degree. In other words, he’s working-class.

Which means, according to the evolutionary psychologists, that I should find him roughly as attractive as a serial killer. Either that or I must be so hopelessly undesirable myself that I’m forced to scrape the bottom of the relationship barrel.

The problem is, in my own immodest opinion, I’m a solid competitor in the mating game. I’ve always had an easy rapport with men and have never had any particular trouble attracting or holding their interest. And I’ve received plenty of offers for dates from eligible men with the educational pedigree and earning power I’m supposed to swoon over. But I’ve no interest in trading up.

This perplexes many people, including my own mother. I’ve been offered a variety of theories to explain my behavior. One is that I’m a contrarian who enjoys going against the grain for the immature thrill of being defiant. One is that I’m a sex fiend and my man is more boy-toy than boyfriend. Another is that deep down I have low self-esteem and don’t think I deserve better. And I was once quiet memorably informed by some colleagues that the explanation was that “you’re not really a woman, you’re a dude in a woman’s body.”

All of these people believe that my relationship is a passing fancy and that eventually, when I’m done playing games, I’ll take the mature route and settle down with a man deemed socioeconomically appropriate. What they can’t seem to wrap their heads around is the fact that my guy’s working-class job is not some detriment or novelty that I’m temporarily willing to indulge.

To the contrary, it’s a distinct benefit, and one of the key reasons our relationship works so well. There are enduring, rational reasons why my guy’s blue-collar job makes him desirable. Here are three of the big ones.

Read the rest of the article to see her three reasons.

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