Men Enjoy Shopping, but Many Don't Like Strip Clubs - Who Knew?

Esquire asked 1,032 men a series of questions about topics related to masculinity - everything from going to strip clubs to watching sports on tv to the number of close friends they have. The answers defy stereotypes - for example, most men do not enjoy going to strip clubs, don't mind shopping for new clothes (although shopping for cars, not so much), and nearly half the men do not drink any night of the week, on average.

In general, this survey reveals that old school masculine gender codes are falling to the wayside.

Full results from Esquire are below the Reuters summary.

Who knew? Men enjoy shopping, but many don't like strip clubs: poll

By Patricia Reaney January 21, 2014



Shoppers ride the escalator at Macy's Herald Square in New York
NEW YORK (Reuters) - About half of men in the United States enjoy shopping for clothes, many don't like going to strip clubs and it is typical for males under the age of 44 to have sexted someone, according to a poll released on Tuesday.

Esquire magazine surveyed more than 1,000 men in an online survey that looked at male behavior. It showed it is normal for men to say "I love you" frequently and to have cried sometime during the past month.

And while there is nothing unusual about men using cologne, it is more uncommon for males to get a spray tan or color their hair.

"A lot of men have sneaking suspicions that what they say or do is not normal by traditional definitions of manhood, from how much they care about sports and cars to their taste in music and movies," Richard Dorment, senior editor at Esquire, said in an interview.

The concept of masculinity has become more expansive and elastic, he added, while the need to conform and fit in seems to lessen with age.

For the survey, Esquire asked 1,032 men on topics ranging from cooking dinner for family and friends, strip clubs and going to concerts to sexting - sending sexually explicit messages by text - and how often they have sex.

It found that the men believed it is normal to say "I love you" frequently and that they have cried in the past month.

"There are some things about manhood as it existed in previous generations that are still more or less the same, particularly the interest and emphasis on sports and the excitement that men get from watching and playing sports," said Dorment.

But other behaviors have been become mainstream in a way that Dorment believes expands on the long-held definition of normal.

Shedding tears is normal, as is using moisturizer, hair products and sexting, depending on a man's age.

"If you are under 45, it is not really weird to have sexted someone at some point in your life," said Dorment, "If you are over 45, it is atypical."

Having sex more than twice a week over the age of 45 is not normal, the poll showed, as is not having sex at all for males under that age.

Twenty-six percent of African American men said they had a manicure in the last six months or longer, compared to 7 percent of Caucasians and 10 percent of the general male population.

Men over 60 also were twice as likely to think of themselves as normal as men under 30.

The results of the survey can be found here.

"The thing that deeply surprised us, that we have the statistical data for, is how the definition of conventional, masculine behavior has expanded to include all the things that up until a few years ago were considered totally alien," said Dorment.

The online poll has a margin of error of +/- three percentage points.

(Editing by Eric Kelsey and Amanda Kwan)

New Research - Men ARE More Romantic

A new study reveals that 48% of men admit to falling in love at first time, while only 28% of women admit to having a "love at first sight" experience. On the downside, 33 per cent of men and 19 per cent of women admit to having sex outside of their current relationship. Men are more romantic, but they are also more likely to spread that love around.

The study data is preliminary from an ongoing survey - and the current data is published in The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship, by Chrisanna Northrupp, co-authored by academics Professor Pepper Schwartz (sociologist at the University of Washington), and Professor James Schwartz, Director of the Centre for Social Science Research at George Mason University in Virginia.

Men ARE More Romantic

I knew that!

Published on April 20, 2013 by Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. in Sticky Bonds

A survey of 100,000 people worldwide, published in The Normal Bar (Crown Publishing Group, 2013), reveals that 48% of the male participants said they had fallen in love "at first sight." Only 28% of the women said that they had a love at first sight experience.

This survey result indicating that the men were more romantic than the women is consistent with my rekindled romance research. The first post I ever wrote for this blog -- Are Men Romantic? -- discussed my finding that the men who had tried lost love reunions were significantly more likely than the women to report that they "never got over" their first loves.

Yes, men are romantic. And many women are not. The stereotypes of unromantic men with romantic female partners are harmful to adult relationships, and can lead to attempts at gender typing of young boys - to everyone's detriment.

Here is a more in-depth article from The Daily Mail Online.

Men ARE more romantic: 48% fall in love at first sight compared with 28% of women

• Around 10,000 people took part in online survey about love and relationships in the 21st century
• While romantic, men are more unfaithful gender, with 33% admitting to having had sex outside a relationship

By RACHEL REILLY
PUBLISHED: 22 April 2013

They may forget anniversaries and buy last minute Valentine’s gifts from petrol stations, but men are, apparently, more romantic than women.

A survey found that while 48 per cent cent have fallen in love at first sight, a mere 28 per cent of women could claim the same.

The research, published in new book The Normal Bar, questioned 10,000 people worldwide about their attitude towards love and relationships.

Dispelling the myth: A new book has found that men are more romantic than women

The Normal Bar is the brainchild of entrepreneur Chrisanna Northrupp and is co-authored by academics Professor Pepper Schwartz, sociologist at the University of Washington, and Professor James Schwartz, Director of the Centre for Social Science Research at George Mason University in Virginia.

Using data collected from their online survey, the book aims to dispel the myths surrounding sexuality and relationships, shed light on what a real 21st century relationship entails and help make your own relationship more satisfying.

The survey, which is ongoing, contains 1,300 questions and touches on everything from sex to the most attractive physical features to personality traits a prospective partner looks for, the Washington Post reported.

Other interesting figures from the survey included the finding that only 74 per cent of people are happy in their relationship and 66 per cent of those questioned believe their partner is their soulmate.

The survey also found that more men than women had strayed in their relationships

But perhaps the most interesting - albeit worrying - discovery was that having sex without a emotional ties outside a relationship was not technically regarded as an affair by many.

While only 15 per cent of those asked admitted to having had an affair, the number confessing to being unfaithful shot up dramatically when the question was phrased as ‘sex outside your current relationship’.

A third of men and 19 per cent of women then said they had indulged in extra-marital relations.

The books goes on to explain that for many, the secret to a happy relationship includes having regular date nights, using pet names, holding hands, passionate kissing, back rubs and frequently saying 'I love you'.

But the most important factor, that almost everyone surveyed agreed on, was communication.

In unhappy relationships, a lack of communication was cited as the number one reason for it breaking down.

. . . BUT ANOTHER STUDY SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD

We are now twice as likely to choose money over love, according to a new study.

The research, carried out by innovative charity and gambling website jaro.com, has found that twice as many Britons would opt for £650 million (or $1bn U.S., where the research was carried out) over finding their true love, with men particularly being the most money-orientated.

And materialism peaks around middle age, with 40 per cent of those aged between 35 and 44 years old saying cash is more important than love or good health.

The survey of 2,000 adults found that women are more likely to choose love than men, but only by two per cent - 13 per cent of men are more likely to choose money.

The younger generation were found to be the most romantically inclined, with 18 to 24-year-olds placing equal importance on love and money at around 35 per cent each.

Seeking participants for adult gender study

The request for survey subjects appeared in this morning's Adult Development listserve - he's looking for a diverse sample, so feel free to repost this or send it to friends and family (must be 18 to participate).

Adult Gender Study

Hello!

My name is Jay Ledbetter and I am a graduate student at San Francisco State University. I am working on my Master's thesis in social psychology under the supervision of Professor Chuck Tate in the Department of Psychology. My thesis research tries to advance our understanding of gender identity by exploring the range of similarities and differences people have across various gender identities (e.g., female, male, transgender, genderqueer). The research is therefore designed in an inclusive way to help us discover how everyone experiences gender identity.

I am writing to ask you to participate in my thesis research by responding to the survey questions listed in the link below. To be most effective in our research efforts, we seek respondents at all levels of education, with varying sexual identities or orientations, and with different life experiences. Accordingly, please let friends, loved ones, and colleagues know about this study. Everyone who takes the survey must be 18 years old or older.

If you choose to participate, no identifying information or names will be collected. Thus, a participant's name cannot be connected in any way to the responses he/she/ze provides; stated differently, responses are completely anonymous in this study. The research data will be kept in secure, password-protected computers in Professor Tate's research lab. Only the researcher (Ledbetter), advisor (Tate), and trained research assistants will have access to the data.

There is a minimal risk of discomfort or anxiety due to the nature of the questions asked; however, the participant should answer only those questions he/she/ze chooses, and can stop participation in the research at any time.

By participating in this survey, you are helping researchers better understand the broad range of gender identity experiences. Additionally, you are helping change the way data are collected in social and personality psychology by having your voice be heard as a respondent. The more voices we hear through these responses, the more likely it is that other researchers take notice of this approach and become more inclusive in the study of gender identity. You will also have the opportunity to leave anonymous comments about our approach, especially whether (and in what ways) it could be improved.

For the purposes of this study, the researcher asks that you or any respondent complete the study only one time. The total time commitment is approximately 1 hour and the entire survey is completed online.

If you would like to participate, please click the following link: http://survey.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_d40CVG01z2UX4tm

If you have any further questions about the study, you may contact the researcher, Jay Ledbetter by email at jledbett@... or you may contact the researcher's advisor, Professor Chuck Tate at ctate2@... or 415.338.2267.

Questions about your rights as a study participant, or comments or complaints about the study, may also be addressed to the Office for the Protection of Human Subjects at San Francisco State University, via phone at 415-338-1093 or via email at protocol@....

--
Jay Ledbetter
SPAMS Lab Manager
Social Psychology Graduate Student
San Francisco State University
jaydnledbetter@...

Tags: gender, gender roles, gender identity, survey, research, Jay Ledbetter, social psychology, Chuck Tate, San Francisco State University

Esquire - 20/50: The Esquire Survey of American Men

Esquire has conducted a large survey of American males, and it turns out there are more 20-year-olds than any other age, with 50-year-olds coming in second.

Some interesting findings - in some ways younger people are more liberal (gay marriage), but also more conservative (religion, abortion, legal weed).

20/50: The Esquire Survey of American Men

Fact: Among the total population, there are more 50-year-olds in America right now than any other single-age group, and the second largest single-age group (not counting the stragglers around 50) is 20-year-olds. Fact: If you're looking at only the male population, there are more 20-year-olds in America right now than any other single-age group, and the second largest single-age group is — wait for it — 50-year-olds.* Fact: This is pretty cool, and after commissioning a nationwide survey of men born in 1960 and 1990, we learned just how far apart today's 20-year-olds and 50-year-olds are in their attitudes, expectations, and beliefs.

Mike McGregor

Dan Brummer, 20, and his father, Glen, 50.

Published in the October issue of Esquire — on sale any day now

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

1. On a scale of 1 to 5 — 1 being "not happy" and 5 being "very happy" — how would you rate your level of personal happiness right now?

1 4% 4%

2 10% 13%

3 25% 34%

4 39% 37%

5 22% 12%

A CLOSER LOOK: 61% of 20-year-olds say they're generally happy (answering 4 or 5 on our scale) compared with just 49% of 50-year-olds. And though the sample sizes for some of our ethnicities are small, we couldn't help but notice certain trends. The men with the highest all-around happiness? 50-year-old African-Americans (68% consider themselves generally happy). The group with the highest all-around unhappiness? 50-year-old Asian-Americans (33% consider themselves unhappy).

2. Who is the best role model for young men in America today?

Barack Obama 41% 32%

George Clooney 13% 13%

Tom Brady 10% 5%

Bono 4% 5%

Rev. Billy Graham 7% 22%

Jay-Z 10% 1%

Steve Jobs 10% 13%

Mitt Romney 5% 8%

3. Whom do you consider the coolest man in America?

Barack Obama 21% 14%

George Clooney 12% 21%

Clint Eastwood 26% 55%

Robert Pattinson 3% 1%

LeBron James 20% 5%

Jack White 3% 1%

Justin Timberlake 9% 2%

Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino 6% 1%

4. Of the following, which one is the most trustworthy news source?

Jon Stewart 24% 12%

Brian Williams 26% 34%

Anderson Cooper 28% 27%

Glenn Beck 22% 27%

A CLOSER LOOK: Of the men we surveyed, there were clear preferences among certain ethnicities: 50% of 50-year-old Asian-Americans really like Brian Williams; 43% of 50-year-old African-Americans like Anderson Cooper; and, surprisingly, more than 29% of both 20-year-old African-Americans and 50-year-old whites find Glenn Beck the most trustworthy.

6. How much is too much to pay for a suit?

$200 17% 25%

$500 29% 31%

$1,000 32% 29%

$2,000 22% 15%

What They Look Like
A visual survey of 20- and 50-year-old men, photographed exclusively for Esquire in New York City on August 5 and August 11, 2010.

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

8. How do you get most of your news these days?

Watching television. 49% 48%

Reading newspapers. 9% 11%

Browsing online news sites. 27% 30%

Browsing blogs. 3% 1%

Listening to the radio. 4% 7%

I don't really follow the news. 7% 3%

9. Have you been involved in a physical altercation at any point over the past year?

10. Do you have a better sense of style than your father?

11. What's your favorite spectator sport?

Baseball 15% 20%

Football 33% 57%

Golf 4% 5%

Basketball 22% 11%

Ultimate Fighting 26% 7%

12. When was the last time you had five or more drinks in a single sitting?

Today 2% 3%

2 to 3 days ago 15% 13%

1 week ago 8% 8%

2 to 3 weeks ago 7% 7%

More than a month ago 23% 48%

Never 44% 20%

13. Which of the following decades produced the best music of the past 50 years?

The 1960s 7% 23%

The 1970s 14% 49%

The 1980s 23% 21%

The 1990s 22% 5%

The 2000s 34% 3%

Mike McGregor
Luke and Mark Petrinovic

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

15. How important is daily exercise in your life?

Very. If I'm not getting stronger, I'm getting weaker. 43% 25%

Somewhat. I exercise when I can, but it's not a huge deal. 46% 53%

Not very 11% 22%

A CLOSER LOOK: Among both 20-year-olds and 50-year-olds, men who say exercise is very important are more likely to say they're generally happy than men who don't exercise. Broken down by age and ethnicity, the group most enthusiastic about exercise is 20-year-old African-Americans (52% answered "very"); the least enthusiastic is 50-year-old Hispanic men (33%).

16. Do you believe in God?

17. You've got a big announcement to make to your close friends. What's your preferred method of communication?

Twitter 1% 0%

Facebook 25% 8%

E-mail 4% 8%

Texting 24% 5%

Telephone 16% 30%

In person 31% 50%

18. How many times in the past two years have you cheated on your wife/girlfriend/significant other?

Zero 82% 92%

Once 8% 3%

Two to four times 6% 2%

Five times or more 4% 3%

19. Have you ever been romantically involved with a woman from outside your race or ethnicity?

21. Whom would you most like to sleep with?

Kristen Stewart 5% 5%

Megan Fox 66% 25%

Christina Hendricks 5% 5%

Halle Berry 19% 37%

Demi Moore 5% 29%

22. In your version of an ideal marriage, your wife would:

Stay home and take care of the kids. 20% 14%

Work outside the home and help you pay the bills. 29% 30%

Work outside the home while you stay home and take care of the kids. 3% 1%

She should do whatever she wants. 47% 55%

23. What is the most important goal in your life?

To be happy. 60% 56%

To be wealthy. 13% 10%

To make other people's lives better. 19% 26%

To live a long time. 7% 8%

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

25. Which of the following best describes your opinion about divorce:

It's not an option, not ever. 20% 6%

It's an option, but it's a last resort. 63% 66%

It's an option, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. 16% 27%

26. How often do you have sex?

Once or more a day 17% 6%

Two to three times a week 19% 25%

Once a week 10% 13%

Two to three times a month 8% 11%

Once a month 7% 6%

Less than once a month, but I'll take it when I can get it. 14% 27%

Never 25% 12%

A CLOSER LOOK: 20-year-olds are three times more likely to have daily sex than 50-year-olds, but 50-year-olds are more likely to have sex on a regular basis. Also: 20-year-olds have, on average, sex 7.7 times a month; for 50-year-old men, that number is 5.2.

27. How much do you enjoy giving oral sex to your wife or girlfriend?

I love it. 43% 68%

I like it okay, but only in small doses. 33% 20%

I don't like it, but I do it anyway. 9% 5%

I hate it. 15% 8%

28. Do you believe that lifelong monogamy is a realistic expectation for a married couple?

30. At what age do you want to retire?

55 17% 15%

65 34% 30%

75 11% 6%

As soon as possible 20% 30%

I don't think I'll ever want to retire. 17% 20%

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

31. Which of the following describes your opinion about marijuana?

It is a dangerous drug and should be illegal in all circumstances. 22% 11%

It should be illegal except when it is grown and used for medicinal purposes. 28% 30%

It should be legalized, taxed, and regulated by the government for the general population. 37% 49%

Live and let live, brah. 12% 9%

32. How many sexual partners have you had?

1 20% 11%

2 to 4 28% 19%

5 to 8 10% 16%

9 to 12 5% 9%

13 to 15 4% 5%

More than 15 8% 36%

None 26% 4%

33. At a work- (or school-) related conference, you have a dalliance with a woman who is not your significant other. At what point does it become cheating?

Flirting over a drink 17% 17%

Kissing/fooling around 57% 53%

Oral sex 8% 6%

Intercourse 5% 9%

Planning a rendezvous 13% 16%

34. How much do you make a year?

$0 to $24,999 53% 28%

$25,000 to $49,999 18% 29%

$50,000 to $74,999 12% 24%

$75,000 to $99,999 6% 11%

$100,000 to $149,999 6% 7%

$150,000 to $249,000 4% 1%

$250,000 or more 1% 1%

35. What do you expect to make at your earning peak?

$60,000 21% 48%

$100,000 33% 34%

$250,000 17% 8%

$500,000 14% 4%

$1,000,000 15% 5%

36. A year from now, do you expect to be more, less, or as financially comfortable as you are today?

More financially comfortable 62% 43%

Less financially comfortable 12% 21%

As financially comfortable 27% 35%

37. Which of the following best describes your definition of success?

A job that pays me enough money so I can buy what I want. 26% 19%

A job that leaves me emotionally fulfilled and personally content. 35% 49%

A job that makes my family proud. 26% 6%

Not having to work at all. 12% 26%

38. How much money would you need in the bank before you'd consider yourself rich?

$10,000 7% 5%

$100,000 18% 13%

$1,000,000 46% 46%

$10,000,000 28% 36%

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

40. How do you identify yourself politically?

Conservative Republican 12% 20%

Moderate Republican 15% 13%

Moderate Democrat 19% 19%

Liberal Democrat 12% 14%

None of the above. I'm an Independent. 43% 33%

A CLOSER LOOK: Among 50-year-olds who self-identify as conservative Republicans, the highest number of respondents make $50,000 to $99,999 a year; among the 50-year-olds who self-identify as moderate Republicans, the highest number make $100,000 or more. Also: Among the African-Americans surveyed, 20-year-olds are nearly five times as likely to self-identify as conservative as 50-year-olds (17% versus 4%).

41. Do you think President Obama is doing a good job?

A CLOSER LOOK: Among 50-year-olds, disapproval of Barack Obama rises in direct correlation to income. Among 20-year-olds, the opposite is true: $100,000-plus earners are more likely to say they think he's doing a good job than those earning $50,000 or less.

42. True or false: Climate change is real.

True, and it's caused by humans. 40% 38%

True, but it's not necessarily caused by humans. 36% 34%

False 7% 12%

There's just not enough evidence to say. 16% 17%

A CLOSER LOOK: Both 20- and 50-year-olds who make more than $100,000 a year are far less likely to say climate change is real than those who make less than $50,000 a year.

43. What's your take on the Tea Party movement?

Patriots 36% 34%

Nutcases 15% 22%

I don't know enough about them to say. 50% 44%

44. How would you characterize your position on abortion?

I'm pro-choice, without qualification. 19% 25%

I'm pro-choice, but I believe abortions should be restricted to the first 20 weeks. 29% 23%

I'm pro-life, but I believe exceptions should be made in the case of rape or incest or if the woman's health is in danger. 38% 42%

I'm pro-life, without qualification. 15% 11%

45. How strongly do you agree or disagree with the following statement: "Today is the best time in the history of the country to be a man."

Strongly disagree 10% 17%

Moderately disagree 20% 23%

Neither agree nor disagree 39% 42%

Moderately agree 18% 11%

Strongly agree 13% 7%

46. What should be the number-one priority on President Obama's domestic agenda?

Enacting immigration reform. 12% 11%

Stimulating job growth. 49% 66%

Achieving energy independence. 23% 18%

Protecting the environment. 16% 5%

47. Do two men or two women have a right to get married?

20-YEAR-OLDS

50-YEAR-OLDS

48. If you had to boil down your thoughts on the following issues, would you describe yourself as "pro," "anti," or neither?

Gun control

Pro 46% 41%

Anti 29% 37%

Neither 26% 22%

Death penalty

Pro 49% 68%

Anti 26% 15%

Neither 26% 17%

Offshore drilling

Pro 36% 45%

Anti 37% 28%

Neither 28% 28%

49. What is the best solution for immigration reform?

Securing the border to keep undocumented workers out of our country. 34% 50%

Relaxing immigration standards and making it easier for illegals to become legal. 31% 14%

Hunting down undocumented workers currently in the country and sending them home. 20% 22%

Making English the national language. 16% 14%

A CLOSER LOOK: Among the Hispanic men we surveyed, 20-year-olds are twice as likely to endorse hunting down undocumented workers as 50-year-old Hispanic men (28% versus 14%).

50. Which of the following worries you the most?

The size of the federal debt. 26% 25%

The possibility of a terrorist attack. 18% 18%

The impact of global warming on our environment. 17% 13%

The unemployment rate. 30% 40%

The specter of one day becoming impotent. 8% 4%

51. How sure are you that your kids will have a better life than you did?

52. Which country do you view as the biggest threat to America in the 21st century?

53. Do you believe the United States will be as strong in 2050 as it is today?

Yes 31% 18%

No 29% 37%

I don't know. 40% 45%

A CLOSER LOOK: 20-year-olds are more bullish on America's future than 50-year-olds, especially among whites surveyed (31% of 20-year-old whites think we'll be as strong in 2050; only 16% of 50-year-old whites share that view).

IN CONCLUSION

So what are we to make of all of this? First, there are a few things that 20-year-olds and 50-year-olds seem to agree on. The unrivaled joy of watching football, the abiding coolness of Clint Eastwood, gun control and the death penalty and performing oral sex: Both age groups love 'em all. But there are differences of opinion, too, about off-shore drilling and Megan Fox and how much they're willing to pay for a suit. Surprisingly, 20-year-olds are more conservative in many of their social attitudes: They're three times more likely than 50-year-olds to say that divorce is never an option; they're more likely to want their wives to stay home and take care of the kids; and there are more 20-year-olds who self-identify as pro-life than pro-choice. Fifty-year-olds, meanwhile, are a lot less optimistic than 20-year-olds: They're more doubtful that their kids will have a better life than them; they're less likely to think today is the best time to be a man; and they generally don't think that the U. S. will be as strong in 2050 as it is today. To see if they're right, check out our follow-up survey, "60/90: The Esquire Survey of American Men," hitting newsstands on October 1, 2050.

Icons and map by John Grimwade

*With thanks to Moody's Analytics chief economist Mark Zandi for pointing out these facts to us and to the U. S. Census Bureau for confirming them. About our methodology: "20/50: The Esquire Survey of American Men" was conducted exclusively for Esquire by Beta Research Corporation, an independent firm located in Syosset, New York. The six hundred respondents were randomly selected from a pool of Internet-connected adults and results were weighted to reflect a national sample of American men aged fifty and twenty. Margin of error on totals is +/ — 4 percent at the 95 percent level of confidence, and for a sample size of three hundred it is +/ — 6 percent at the 95 percent level of confidence. The respondents completed the online survey between June 21 and June 30, 2010. Because of rounding, some percentages may not add up to 100.

Tags: Esquire, 20/50, The Esquire Survey, American Men, men, culture, survey, relationships, values, guns, abortion, gay marriage, economics, money, sex, worldviews