Dwarfed by the X chromosome, the Y seems more ancient than we thought (Image: Pasieka/SPL)

New research suggests that the oldest common male ancestor for all living men existed BEFORE (around 340,000 years ago) anatomically modern humans emerged around 195,000 years ago. Very interesting. This would make the oldest common male ancestor quite a bit older than Mitochondrial Eve, who is estimated to have lived approximately 190,000–200,000 years ago.

The father of all men is 340,000 years old

March 2013 by Colin Barras
Magazine issue 2908.

Albert Perry carried a secret in his DNA: a Y chromosome so distinctive that it reveals new information about the origin of our species. It shows that the last common male ancestor down the paternal line of our species is over twice as old as we thought.

One possible explanation is that hundreds of thousands of years ago, modern and archaic humans in central Africa interbred, adding to known examples of interbreeding – with Neanderthals in the Middle East, and with the enigmatic Denisovans somewhere in southeast Asia.

Perry, recently deceased, was an African-American who lived in South Carolina. A few years ago, one of his female relatives submitted a sample of his DNA to a company called Family Tree DNA for genealogical analysis.

Geneticists can use such samples to work out how we are related to one another. Hundreds of thousands of people have now had their DNA tested. The data from these tests had shown that all men gained their Y chromosome from a common male ancestor. This genetic "Adam" lived between 60,000 and 140,000 years ago.

All men except Perry, that is. When Family Tree DNA's technicians tried to place Perry on the Y-chromosome family tree, they just couldn't. His Y chromosome was like no other so far analysed.

Deeper roots

Michael Hammer, a geneticist at the University of Arizona in Tucson, heard about Perry's unusual Y chromosome and did some further testing. His team's research revealed something extraordinary: Perry did not descend from the genetic Adam. In fact, his Y chromosome was so distinct that his male lineage probably separated from all others about 338,000 years ago.

"The Y-chromosome tree is much older than we thought," says Chris Tyler-Smith at the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute in Hinxton, UK, who was not involved in the study. He says further work will be needed to confirm exactly how much older.

"It's a cool discovery," says Jon Wilkins of the Ronin Institute in Montclair, New Jersey. "We geneticists have been looking at Y chromosomes about as long as we've been looking at anything. Changing where the root of the Y-chromosome tree is at this point is extremely surprising."

Digging deeper, Hammer's team examined an African database of nearly 6000 Y chromosomes and found similarities between Perry's and those in samples taken from 11 men, all living in one village in Cameroon. This may indicate where in Africa Perry's ancestors hailed from.

Older than humanity

The first anatomically modern human fossils date back only 195,000 years, so Perry's Y chromosome lineage split from the rest of humanity long before our species appeared.

What are the implications? One possibility is that Perry's Y chromosome may have been inherited from an archaic human population that has since gone extinct. If that's the case, then some time within the last 195,000 years, anatomically modern humans interbred with an ancient African human.

There is some supporting evidence for this scenario. In 2011, researchers examined human fossils from a Nigerian site called Iwo Eleru. The fossils showed a strange mix of ancient and modern features, which also suggested interbreeding between modern and archaic humans. "The Cameroon village with an unusual genetic signature is right on the border with Nigeria, and Iwo Eleru is not too far away," says Hammer.

Chris Stringer at the Natural History Museum, London, was involved in the Iwo Eleru analysis, and says the new Y chromosome result highlights the need for more genetic data from modern-day sub-Saharan Africans. "The oldest known fossil humans in both West Africa at Iwo Eleru and Central Africa at Ishango [in Democratic Republic of the Congo] show unexpectedly archaic features, so it certainly looks like we have a more complex scenario for the evolution of modern humans in Africa."

Journal reference: American Journal of Human Genetics, doi.org/kp4

Brené Brown - Shame Corrodes Our Ability to Believe We Are Capable of Change

New York City, under Mayor Bloomberg's direction, recently unveiled its new anti-teen pregnancy campaign, with a series of posters similar to the one above (which is part of the series). A lot of people who are frequently liberal allies of Bloomberg have denounced the ad campaign, including Planned Parenthod:

Planned Parenthood issued a statement denouncing the poster campaign, saying that it ignored the racial, economic and social factors that contribute to teenage pregnancy and instead stigmatized teenage parents and their children.

Brené Brown - author of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, and I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough", among other works - also weighs in on the issue, and she suggests (rightfully so) that shaming these young mothers is pouring salt in an open wound. Most of them probably did not plan to be mothers, but it happened, and shaming them for it will just create even more shame as they shame themselves.

She should know - Brown is one of the leading researchers and writers on shame in the U.S., and her TED Talks (The Power of Vulnerability, 2010, and Listening to Shame, 2012) have been HUGE successes.

This is from Brown's blog.

Public Shaming is a Better Example of "If it feels good - do it" than Teen Pregnancy

March 20, 2013

Richard Reeves’ New York Times Op/Ed arguing that shame is an essential ingredient of a healthy society is not only wrong, but also potentially more dangerous to parents, children, and society than teen pregnancy – the example he uses in his argument.

Last week New York City unveiled its public education campaign targeting teenage pregnancy. Taking a page from the Georgia obesity campaign and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, the campaign features pictures of tear-stained toddlers admonishing their teen mothers for ruining their lives.

The ads are painful, and in a moment of sheer frustration and anger, I thought about ditching this article and just sending both Reeves and Mayor Bloomberg pictures of tear-stained pregnant teenagers staring out and declaring: “Please don’t attack my self-worth. I’m already struggling and desperate for love and belonging.”

Having spent the past decade studying shame, courage, and vulnerability, I know that ploy is cheap, easy, and ineffective. I’m going old school – with facts.

To be effective, all shame- and stigma-based campaigns rely on the intended audience’s feeling empathy and guilt when they see the images. In New York the goal is for teenagers to see the forlorn toddlers and think, “I don’t want to do that to a child.” In anti-obesity ads, the goal is for parents to see a desperate child saying, “Please help me. I don’t want to be fat,” and think, “I’ve got to start making better choices for my family.”

Here’s the rub:

Shame diminishes our capacity for empathy.

Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.

You can’t depend on empathetic connection to make a campaign effective, then crush the needed empathy with shame.

Researchers June Tangney and Ronda Dearing, authors of Shame and Guilt, explain that feelings of shame are so painful that it pulls the focus to our own survival, not the experiences of others.

Example: A man shakes a bottle of pills in his wife’s face, “Look around you! Your pill-popping is destroying our family. Our son is failing out of school and our daughter is literally starving herself for attention. What's wrong with you?”

Does the shame of what she’s doing to her family lead her to get help, or does it lead her to slink away and get high? After-school specials tell us she gets help. Data say she gets high. In fact, new research shows that some addiction may be born of shame and that shame leads to relapse rather than relapse prevention.

A man is convicted of domestic abuse and the judge sentences him to stand downtown during rush hour holding a sign that says, “I am a wife beater.” Would you like to be the woman he comes home to that night? Are you safer when he’s in shame or repairing shame?

Reeves basically makes the good shame/bad shame argument, explaining that shame should be used in some ways but not others.

I don’t see any evidence of “good shame.” Not in my research and not in the research being done by other affect researchers.

I define shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” Along with many other shame researchers, I’ve come to the conclusion that shame is much more likely to be the source of dangerous, destructive, and hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.

It is human nature, not just the nature of liberals (as Reeves argues), to want to feel affirmed and valued. When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for belonging and recognition. It’s when we feel shame or the fear of shame that we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors, to attack or humiliate others, or to stay quiet when we see someone who needs our help.

Making the distinction between good and bad shame, and promoting so-called good shame is like saying there’s “good starvation” and “bad starvation” and that we need to address the obesity epidemic with “good starvation.” Just like there’s no such thing as “good starvation,” there’s no such thing as “good shame.”

The “good shame” that Reeves describes is actually a combination of guilt and empathy. And, interestingly, there is actually significant research on the important roles both guilt and empathy play in pro-social, positive behavior.

Is this just a case of semantics? No. We don’t refer to balanced, healthy eating as “good starvation” because it’s confusing, inaccurate, and misleading. It also obscures and confuses what we really need to do to move toward positive social outcomes.

The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between “I am bad” and “I did something bad.” Shame is about who we are, and guilt is about our behaviors.

When we apologize for something we’ve done, make amends to others, or change a behavior that we don’t feel good about, guilt is most often the motivator. Of course, you can shame someone into saying, “I’m sorry,” but it’s rarely authentic. Guilt is as powerful as shame; it just doesn’t have the paralyzing and debilitating impact that prevents shame from being an effective agent of meaningful change.

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s place in order to understand what they are feeling. When we are empathetic, we can listen and respond authentically to others, and we have the skills to consider how our actions will impact others.

Again, why don’t we just refer to guilt and empathy as “good shame”? Because it’s inaccurate. It clouds the fact that being empathetic and communicating with others (colleagues, children, partners, friends) without using shame requires most of us to develop new skills. Labeling these skills “good shame” moves us away from the hard work of understanding, identifying, and acquiring the knowledge we need to change.

Based on my own experiences with shame (we all have it) and what I’ve learned about it as a researcher, I know the intense pain, isolation, and fear it causes. I’m not proud to say this, but even with this knowledge, if I thought shaming people would, in the long run, keep them safer and make the world a better place, I might do it. As a parent and an observer of human behavior, I can get extremely fearful, and that fear might allow me to overlook the pain caused by shame if I thought it would ensure a better outcome.

Fortunately, I don’t have to wrestle with that moral dilemma because we know that shame never works as a catalyst for healthy, lasting change.

Shame is at the core of violence, addiction, disengagement, and fear. Shame is about anger and blame, not accountability and change. Meaningful change means understanding the realities of these girls’ lives (and the boys who get them pregnant) and working with them to cultivate educational opportunities, hope, and support.

Reeves writes, “We need a sense of shame to live well together. For those with liberal instincts, this is necessarily hard. But it is also necessary.” I’m not sure what he means by “liberal instincts,” but what I do know is that using shame as a tool when we are frustrated, angry, or desperate to see behavior change in people is a much better example of the “it feels good – do it” ethos than the teen pregnancy problem. We might feel justified in belittling and humiliating people, but it makes the world a more dangerous place.

I'd love to know what you think. Respectful debate and discussion is always welcome! ​

Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once

Jim and Tracy meet the incredible ballet prodigy who choreographed an entire desperate plea for her father's attention all on her own. From The Onion, of course.

Unfortunately, there is too much truth in this - don't be this father.

Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once

Henry Rollins on the Steubenville Rape Case

Yesterday I posted about the Steubenville rape case verdict and the fact that CNN seemed to feel worse for the two young men (whose lives are ruined by the conviction) than for the victim (whose life is also shattered).

So a friend at Facebook, and author of the Beyond Meds blog, shared a link to Henry Rollins' response to the case. As always, Rollins is thoughtful and honest - it is certainly worth the read.

DISPATCH 03-17-12 LOS ANGELES

03-17-13

For the last couple of hours, I have been thinking of the verdict that was reached in what is now known as the Steubenville rape case.

Since all involved are minors, I won’t use anyone’s name. Two juvenile males were found delinquent of the charges and will be, as far as I understand, incarcerated in a juvenile detention facility until they are twenty-one years of age.

There is, I guess, cell phone generated video content of parts of the crime. It went “viral” on the internet and brought attention to the events.

I got through a few minutes of it but was too disgusted to watch the rest.

The case, the verdict and the surrounding circumstances open up a huge conversation.

These are a few of the things that I have been thinking about.

After reading several posts online, I was not surprised at the vast range of sentiments expressed. Many of the postings were of outrage that the two found delinquent were not tried as adults so they would face much longer sentences. You might not know, but in some states, this sentence would be decades long. Many of the posts spoke of the damage done to the victim and the life she will have now. One person suggested caning the two young men. Many others were angered at the deification of high school football players and how they often receive special treatment. You can read this stuff all day if you want.

After reading posts for quite awhile, I thought first about the two young men. I wondered if the years in the facility will “help” them. What, exactly does one “learn” in one of these places? That is to say, after five years locked away, does the idea of assaulting a woman seem like the wrong thing to do, more than if you were incarcerated for one year? Would you be “more sorry” about what you did? Is that possible? Or, would you just be more sorry for yourself about where your actions landed you? At what point do you get “better”, how many years in one of these places does that take?

What made these young people think that that what they did was ok? What was in their upbringing, the information and morals instilled in them that allowed them to do what they did, minute after minute, laughing, joking, documenting it and then calling it a night and going home? Out of all the people who were witness to what happened, why wasn’t there someone putting a stop to it?

What I am attempting to get at, and I apologize if I am not being clear enough is that this is a failure on many levels. Parents, teachers, coaches, peers all come into play here. I am not trying to diffuse blame or lessen the awfulness of what happened but I want to address the complexity of the cause in an effort to assess the effect so it can be prevented.

Some might say that the two going to the youth facility are as much victims as the young women who was assaulted. I do not agree. The two are offenders. What they did was obviously wrong. That being said, we cannot end the discussion at that point and expect things to change.

I have yet to say anything about the damage done to the young woman involved. It is ironic and sad that the person who is going to do a life sentence is her.

As a testament to the horrific power of sexual assault, I encourage you to see, yet cannot recommend the documentary The Invisible War about sexual assault in the military. The reason I say that I cannot recommend it is that it is so well done, so clear and devastating that it will put you through quite a wringer. I do hope you see it but damn, it’s hard. In the interviews with women who have been assaulted by fellow members, the damage that has been done to these good people is monumental.

Many people are angry that more time was not given to the offenders. This seems to be the prevailing sentiment. I understand the anger but don’t know if adding a decade onto their sentences would be of any benefit. To me, the problem that needs to be addressed is where in the information chain were the two offenders made to understand that what they did was not wrong on every possible level? You can execute them both tomorrow but still, there is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

It’s a situation where you would like to be able to point a finger and say, that’s the reason and be done. You have to be careful when you do this because it’s easy to miss.

I think to a great degree, we humans still divide ourselves into two species, even though we are monotypic. There are males and females. We see them as different and not equal. Things get better when women get more equality. That is a bit obvious but I think it leads to better results up the road. If it’s a man’s world as they say, then men, your world is a poorly run carnage fest.

It is obvious that the two offenders saw the victim as some one that could be treated as a thing. This is not about sex, it is about power and control. I guess that is what I am getting at. Sex was probably not the hardest thing for the two to get, so that wasn’t the objective. When you hear the jokes being made during the crime, it is the purest contempt.

So, how do you fix that? I’m just shooting rubber bands at the night sky but here are a few ideas: Put women’s studies in high school the curriculum from war heroes to politicians, writers, speakers, activists, revolutionaries and let young people understand that women have been kicking ass in high threat conditions for ages and they are worthy of respect.

Total sex ed in school. Learn how it all works. Learn what the definition of statutory rape is and that it is rape, that date rape is rape, that rape is rape.

In the spirit of equal time, sites like Huffington Post should have sections for male anatomy hanging out instead of just the idiotic celebrity “side boob” and “nip slip” camera ops. I have no idea what that would be like to have a camera in my face at every turn, looking for “the” shot. I know what some of you are saying. “Then why do they wear clothes like that unless they want those photos taken?” I don’t know what to tell ya. Perhaps just don’t take the fuckin picture? Evolve? I don’t know.

Education, truth, respect, equality—these are the things that can get you from a to b very efficiently.

It must be an awful time for the parents of all three of these people and their relatives and I hope they all get to a better place soon.

What else? That’s all I’ve got. Thanks for reading this. Henry

When CNN broke the story of the two Steubenville boys being convicted of rape, their report focused exclusively on the fate of the rapists, not that of the victim. Poppy Harlow, CNN's reporter in the courtroom, lamented that it was "incredibly difficult" to watch "as these two young men — who had such promising futures, star football players, very good students — literally watched as they believed their life fell apart."

Seriously?

What about the life and future of the young woman who was raped while she was passed out and then photographed naked by one of the rapists, with the pictures being posted online.

The case gained international attention after the hacker collective Anonymous released information connected to the incident, alleging that local authorities were protecting the defendants because of their athletic connections. This kind of behavior by people in authority is why teen boys think they can get away with crap like this.

Despite Poppy Harlow's inappropriate sympathizing with the convicted rapists, these boys raped a girl who was defenseless and posted pictures of her online. They got off easy, because they were tried as juveniles despite being 16 and 17 years old.
 

CNN grieves that guilty verdict ruined ‘promising’ lives of Steubenville rapists

By David Edwards (RAW Story)
Sunday, March 17, 2013

CNN broke the news on Sunday of a guilty verdict in a rape case inSteubenville, Ohio by lamenting that the “promising” lives of the rapists had been ruined, but spent very little time focusing on how the 16-year-old victim would have to live with what was done to her.

Judge Thomas Lipps announced on Sunday that Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’lik Richmond, 16, would be given a maximum sentence after being found guilty of raping a 16-year-old girl while she was unconscious. Richmond could be released from a juvenile rehabilitation facility by the age of 21 and Mays could be incarcerated until the age of 24.

CNN’s Candy Crowley began her breaking news report by showing Lipps handing down the sentence and telling CNN reporter Poppy Harlow that she “cannot imagine” how emotional the sentencing must have been.

Harlow explained that it had been “incredibly difficult” to watch “as these two young men — who had such promising futures, star football players, very good students — literally watched as they believed their life fell apart.”

“One of the young men, Ma’lik Richmond, as that sentence came down, he collapsed,” the CNN reporter recalled, adding that the convicted rapist told his attorney that “my life is over, no one is going to want me now.”

At that point, CNN played video of Richmond crying and hugging his lawyer in the courtroom.

“I was sitting about three feet from Ma’lik when he gave that statement,” Harlow said. “It was very difficult to watch.”

Candy then asked CNN legal contributor Paul Callan what the verdict meant for “a 16 year old, sobbing in court, regardless of what big football players they are, they still sound like 16 year olds.”

“What’s the lasting effect though on two young men being found guilty juvenile court of rape essentially?” Crowley wondered.

“There’s always that moment of just — lives are destroyed,” Callan remarked. “But in terms of what happens now, the most severe thing with these young men is being labeled as registered sex offenders. That label is now placed on them by Ohio law.”

“That will haunt them for the rest of their lives.”

Watch this video from CNN, broadcast March 17, 2013.

America Is Addicted to Porn

This graphic comes from Buzz Feed - it was shared by some friends on Facebook. Since 72% of the visitors to porn sites are men, this is a male issue.

I don't go so far as to say that all porn is horrible and it must be banned - that's too slippery of a slope for me. And the reality is, as is true in all addictions, that a lot of people can view porn from time to time and it causes no problems in their lives or relationships - and some couples like to view porn together.

But the average age of first exposure now is 11 years old - and again, these are mostly boys. My exposure to Playboy as a young teen resulted in objectification of women, so I can't imagine what hardcore pornography is doing to these young men.

A Tale of a Son and His Father

It's rare that a cyclist makes the news in this country for anything other than a spectacular win. American pro and future cycling star Taylor Phinney made the news this week for finishing last on Monday's penultimate stage of Italy's Tirreno-Adriatico stage race.

I'm a pretty serious cycling fan, but I don't think I have ever seen a stage like this one. Three circuits, 209 kilometers of punishment, including a 27% climb so steep that at least one rider had to stay in the saddle in order not to spin the rear wheel on the wet, steep incline.

It was a cold and wet day, and the small group at the back of the race, the grupetto, decided to abandon the race. But Phinney wanted to ride the final stage, his specialty, a time trial. So he kept riding, by himself, and that is where the story resides.

This Is Not a Story About Last Place

JASON GAY
Updated March 13, 2013

Taylor Phinney - photo by Stefano Sirotti

Taylor Phinney's solo ride during the Tirreno-Adriatico on Monday.

This is a story about a guy who finished last. Which is technically true. You can look up the results of the race, and you'll see his name, right there, lonely at the bottom. Taylor Phinney. USA. Finishing time of six hours, twenty-two minutes, fifty-four seconds. One hundred-and-ninth place. Last.

But this story is better than that.

First, about Taylor Phinney. Remember that name. You might already know it. Bike racer from Boulder, Colo., 22 years old. The son of two cycling legends, Davis Phinney and Connie Carpenter. A big dude on the bike, at 6 feet 5 inches, 180 pounds, Taylor Phinney is one of the most promising young cyclists in the world. He's already been to the Olympics twice. Won a stage of the prestigious Giro d'Italia last year. He is expected to have many great days in the sport.

Monday didn't begin like one of those days. Phinney was competing in Italy's Tirreno-Adriatico stage race, and this penultimate stage was a doozy. Up and down, down and up, 209 kilometers of punishment, including a 27% climb so comically steep that some riders got off their bikes and pushed them uphill. Many riders quit. Later the race organizer would admit that the stage was too difficult, even for elite pros.

Phinney didn't expect to win this stage. He just wanted to hang around, because the next day brought a time trial against the clock, and Phinney had a chance for a good result in that event. But the day soon unraveled. His legs weren't feeling great, and then his bike busted its chain. He had to get a replacement and chase his way back to the pack.

"I just was dangling," Phinney said on the phone, from his home in Tuscany. "We kept going over these really difficult climbs. I'd get back to the group and I would get dropped. I'd get back again, then get dropped."

Bike racing is a sport that fetishizes suffering. Anyone who's done it talks almost mystically about painful days on the bike, about the serenity achieved by pedaling through the agony. But even the best can only take so much. Soon Phinney found himself in a small group of 30 or so riders who had fallen off the main field, with about 130 kilometers, or 80 miles, left. The riders in the group began talking. Phinney said became clear that nobody wanted to finish. Drop out now, get out of the cold. This is no shame. It happens all the time. Fight another day.

But Phinney wanted to fight now. He had to complete the race under the time limit to do the time trial Tuesday. "If I wanted to finish the race, I was going to have to do it by myself," he said.

So that's what he did. As the rest of the group abandoned the race, Phinney put his head down and pedaled. He was suddenly alone. The weather was miserable. It began to rain. And Phinney kept thinking of one thing.

"I would just think of my dad," he said.

Davis Phinney has lived with Parkinson's disease for more than half of Taylor Phinney's life. One of the great American racers of all time, a Tour de France stage winner and Olympian, Davis's day is often met by frustrating physical challenges. Tasks that were once simple take so much longer. Ordinary life requires patience.

That's what kept his son pedaling in the cold Italian rain.

"I knew that if my dad could be in my shoes for one day—if all he had to do was struggle on a bike for six hours, but be healthy and fully functional—he would be me on that day in a heartbeat," Taylor Phinney said. "Every time I wanted to quit, every time I wanted to cry, I just thought about that."

He had so many miles to ride. "It's kind of embarrassing," he said. "The race has gone by, and people aren't really expecting one rider slogging along by himself." Fans on the side of the road offered to push him up hills. But Phinney remembered a story his Dad had told him about one of his old Tour de France teams, making a pact to decline pushes.

Taylor would do the same. No pushes.

"He never lost his motivation," said Fabio Baldato, an assistant director for Phinney's team, BMC Racing, who was driving a car behind Phinney the entire route. "It was unbelievable."

"He wanted so badly to finish the race," said Phinney's teammate, Thor Hushovd, a former world champion.

Hours later, Phinney crossed the line, exhausted. He finished almost 15 minutes after the second-to-last rider, thirty-seven minutes behind the winner. He didn't make the time cut for the day, which meant he couldn't compete in Tuesday's time trial. It was a bummer, but Phinney was too zonked to be devastated. During his post-race massage, he cried like crazy. On Twitter, Phinney wrote about riding for his Dad and called it "probably the most trying day I've had on a bike." When Phinney's saga was reported on the website Velonews, cycling fans went crazy. These have been bleak times for the sport, ripped apart by doping scandals. Phinney's solo effort—and his emotions post-racel—had stirred something soulful. "Emotion is powerful and undeniably human," Phinney's mother, Connie Carpenter, said in an email from Italy.

Back home in Colorado, Davis Phinney was marveling at the whole story. You can still find Davis on his bike, usually on the fancy carbon-fiber city commuter he got from his son. Cycling remains a sanctuary—"easier than walking, in a sense," he said. But the daily routine remains full of hassles. Davis Phinney keeps a sense of humor about it, jokingly referring to himself as "Turtleboy." He began a foundation to give people living with Parkinson's tools for living well—for achieving little victories.

Davis Phinney said he didn't learn about Taylor's ride until after it was over. Friends told him how inspired they were by his son. When he heard that Taylor had been thinking about him the whole time, he was floored.

"I have almost no words for how amazing it makes me feel," Davis Phinney said. He wrote in an email to his son:

You make me so happy and beyond proud—and that is better than any medicine and can defeat any disease.

The results are wrong. This is not a story about a guy who finished last. Taylor Phinney won that race.

Andrew O’Hagan - The Male Bond

The Beats, including Jack Kerouac (second from left) and Allen Ginsberg (far right) in 1957. 

Getty Images

From the T Magazine blog at the New York Times, this is an interesting post on the uniqueness of the male bond, the male friendship, as exemplified by some rather well-known men.

The Male Bond

By ANDREW O’HAGAN

MARCH 8, 2013

Paul Newman and Robert Redford on the set of ‘‘Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid’’ in Mexico, 1968. Lawrence Schiller/Polaris Communications/Getty Images

A woman may represent a man’s better half, but his friends are his other self. Whether they involve arguing, competing or doing nothing much at all, male friendships are elemental — and a salve to the soul.

Male friendship is one of the great mysteries, and even those of us who depend on it can only struggle to say why. I once sat up half the night in the company of Christopher Hitchens at the Plaza Athénée in New York. We didn’t agree about a single thing: not about the merits of Paul Wolfowitz, not about the bad character of Bill Clinton, not about the writing of Evelyn Waugh, or about whether Catholicism was basically sentimental. But the night was fantastic and memorable. Why? Christopher was good at male friendship and at provoking affection, a genius in the old art of fellowship and tapping the male psyche. Male friendship, he seemed to believe, or hope, was the answer to just about any of the problems that mattered to him. He hated falling out with Sidney Blumenthal, an adviser to President Clinton, over the Monica Lewinsky scandal, and he adored being friends with Martin Amis, with whom he enjoyed a kind of ego-marriage.

Christopher believed that men could provide something for one another that women weren’t part of. And sometimes he wasn’t even sure himself what that was — a kind of freedom, yes, a sort of flirtatiousness that didn’t portend to sex. One time in Washington, D.C., at a dinner given by the critic James Wood, he almost drove me out of my mind with his defense of Margaret Thatcher and her behavior during the Falklands War. But the more we argued, the closer we got, and the more I wanted to punch him, the more likely it seemed we would hug, which we did, pathetically, while swinging a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black.

My former girlfriend hated what happened when men got together late at night and drank whiskey. Given that I come from Scotland, and drank the hard stuff in place of milk as a baby, it was hard to avoid those occasions when red-faced philosophers would come bursting through the door after midnight, thirsty for camaraderie and the sauce of life. One night, after several grown men wept and then danced to the radio, she left the house in a rage and booked herself into Claridge’s. And if I’m desperately honest I have to say it was one of the best nights of my life. It certainly ruined our faith in each other forever, but it made perfect sense to me that, occasionally, a man has no choice but to consort with his own kind. No amount of socialization and no number of baby manuals, mortgages, or prams in the hall can alter the fact that when men get into the open air, they tend to fly like starlings, turning this way and that by some collective instinct.

It’s not about the nagging wife. It’s about the nagging self. Men don’t really compare themselves with women, not even with those whom they love. We compare ourselves with other men, and we get bigger or smaller in our eyes depending on how well we can compete. My girlfriend is sedate by nature, but you can see her eyes roll and her tongue flick off her top teeth at the notion, my notion, that I must immediately go to Ireland with my friend Will, who was feeling jumpy. She’s not the nag. I’m the nag who wants to fulfill my primordial duty. “I’m just, like, you know, it’s Will, and, like, he’s my best mate, and, well, he needs me, and I feel good when I’m with him, no, don’t take it. . . . Men just need each other, babe.”

I might leave me if I were her. It’s just not going to get any better and it might even get worse. The truth is that men fire each other up for manhood, even if, like me, you might spend the rest of your time pointing out the virtues of the pocket square and the delightfulness of Virginia Woolf. Men give each other the pure, golden excuse of identification: you can love a woman to death but she can’t give you that. You just know with a good male friend that they get your male crap without judging you for it or even noticing that much. And it’s not about being agreeable, because most of my male friends aren’t that agreeable. “The only things Mick and I disagree about,” Keith Richards once said, “is the band, the music and what we do.” Yet they are superb examples of male friendship at its most inspiring.

The oddest thing about my late father was that he didn’t have any male friends. Well, he had one. His name was Archie, and he lived 200 miles away. My father depended on women to answer the call of his self-questioning, and that was an awful mistake. He didn’t see the way male friendship could just fire a different part of your brain. He was surrounded by bright women, women brighter than him, but he missed out on that egotistical refurb, that cool, rough blast of alternative selfhood, which can only come from human adults who pee the same way that you do.

A male friend can’t ask you for anything at the end of the night. He can speak wise or dumb. He can agree or disagree. He can go that way or this way. It doesn’t matter. His job is to be who he is and witness who you are. When you consider old male friends (and co-stars) Paul Newman and Robert Redford, you don’t look for the joins and the similarities. You don’t examine them for correspondences. You just see two guys. And so do they. It might amount to a really great friendship, this coexisting sense of them having things in common but no obligations. And that is what we depend on with our best male friends: the unspokenness that guarantees the closeness, the ease that masks the fear. And every man fears being a failure. We do. That’s why we need great buddies to fail right by our side.

But there are friends for all seasons. They can also succeed. The ones who succeed have a way of making us try harder. I love talented men because they strengthen my belief in the power of a good example. You can get that from female friends too, of course, but male friends carry it into your conscience in an almost physical way. I’ve got a pal who has a play that’s about to open on Broadway. The fact that he’s a man and has been my chum for 20 years could be tricky — it is for a few of our other friends — but to me it is the occasion for a sweet and uncomplicated sense of joy. We have been through everything together, including things that men and women just don’t share and nobody knows why, and the result is that I root for him now like I’m rooting for a better self. Not just a better self for him, but for me. That’s what male friendship can be if you don’t kill it with anxiety. I remember Christopher saying he only needed one friend and that was Martin. I remember thinking, on hearing, that we should retool the meaning of the phrase “my other half.” A woman is not a man’s other half: she might be a whole in herself, made from what matters to her and is suited to her specialness. But a man’s other half is his best friend and his vital spark. The connection is more elemental than intellectual, a rare connection, a sort of existential empathy. Call it what you must, but let it be.

A version of this article appeared in print on 03/10/2013, on page M286 of the NewYork edition with the headline: The Male Bond.

Jeffrey Oliveira Platts - I'm Lovable Now, Because I'm Me

This is a recent post from a friend of mine over at Facebook - I call him friend, even though I have never met him in person, because of his integrity in being the best man he can be, and his willingness to share that process with the rest of us. That takes strength and courage in my opinion.

This is the wisdom a lot of us need to feel - and it's already inside of us. We are always already fully worthy of love. We need not become anyone or do anything to deserve love - we need only be ourselves. And that may be one of the hardest things for any of us to do.

You can find Jeffrey at his Facebook page, or at his coaching site. There was no title for this, so I am sharing it here (with the author's permission) exactly as he shared it on Facebook.

For most of my life, I've used my level of academic, professional and financial success as a benchmark of how lovable I was—by my family, my friends, women. I needed to BE successful at all times and if not, at least APPEAR successful.

More success = more deserving of love.
Less success = less deserving of love.

Lately, I've noticed it was more pervasive than I thought. And I imagine that many men share that same pain-inducing belief. What you do and how much money you make has you gauging how worthy you are of love, attention and belonging in this world.

And for many women, I can only imagine how physical beauty can be a similar benchmark of lovability. Can you be loved for the essence of you? Without the high heels and lip-gloss? Can you be seen as smart, strong and powerful beyond your physical beauty and sex appeal?

The answer is YES.

Your lovability has absolutely nothing to do with how cool your LinkedIn profile looks. How many five-star Italian bistros you take your wife to. Whether you remember to cover the dark shadows under your eyes with concealer. Whether you have a few capital letters after your name. How curvy your hips are. Whether you live in a humble studio apartment or a 21-bedroom mansion.

It has to everything to do with the simple fact that you were born. The fact that you are here right now, reading this.

The reality is that I was lovable when I got a D in Biology. I was lovable when I was a pimply teenager with no friends to go out with on a Friday night. I was lovable when I shifted from job to job, fine-tuning my professional skills and preferences. I was lovable when I let go of credit cards, no longer keeping up with the Joneses.

And I'm lovable now as I coach others on the power of authentic connection and vulnerability, even as I share my own perfectly imperfect journey. I'm lovable now as I practice being a man on the edge of his comfort zone, surfing the waves of total unease in the unknown and strength in clarity and discovery.

I'm lovable now, because I'm me.

And even as I write this, I'm hesitant to post these vulnerable personal ideas so publicly. But if I can awaken just one man or woman to the idea that their lovability is unwavering and unequivocal, then that is all that matters. And if you resonate with any of this, please share this post or chime in below. Our lovability was never up for debate. A reminder we could all use.

— Jeffrey Oliveira Platts

The Two Sexes - Bookforum Omnivore

From Bookforum's Omnivore blog, a new collection of links on men, women, gender equality, boys, differences in how men and women process visual stimuli, and high heels.

The Two Sexes

MAR 1 2013

2:00PM

• Marie Sarlet, Muriel Dumont, Nathalie Delacollette, and Benoit Dardenne (Liege): Prescription of Protective Paternalism for Men in Romantic and Work Contexts. 
• Patricia A. Seith (Stanford): Congressional Power to Effect Sex Equality. 
• Vera Trappmann (Magdeburg): Being Unemployed: Masculinity, Change Competence and Identity. 
• Anca Gheaus (Sheffield): Three Cheers for the Token Woman. 
• From Contexts, Niobe Way, C.J. Pascoe, Mark McCormack, Amy Schalet and Freeden Oeur on the hearts of boys. 
• Where men see white, women see ecru: Neuroscientists prove what we always suspected — the two sexes see the world differently. 
• Why do women wear high heels? Because men did. 
• Is fourth-wave feminism all about boobs and beauty? Hadley Freeman reviews Sexy Feminism by Jennifer Keishin Armstrong and Heather Wood Rudulph.